Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Mindset Expert: Your Beliefs Shape Your Entire Reality! (Shelly Lefkoe)
Oct 7, 2025
Join Shelly Lefkoe, a belief elimination coach and co-founder of the Lefkoe Institute, as she explores how our childhood experiences shape our limiting beliefs. Discover how neutral events become laden with meaning through perception. Shelly reveals the transformative Lefkoe Method for dissolving core beliefs that hinder us, like 'I'm not good enough.' She offers practical parenting tips to help nurture positive beliefs in children, ensuring they grow up with confidence and resilience. Unveil the secrets to reclaiming your life by reshaping your beliefs!
01:35:34
Events Are Neutral; Beliefs Create Meaning
- Events are inherently neutral; the painful feelings come from meanings we assign in the moment.
- Beliefs formed in the past drive those meanings and thus underlying patterns of behavior and emotion.
A Moment That Called Her To This Work
- Shelly recounts watching Morty apply a process to a friend and felt called to this work.
- That moment led her to devote 35 years to eliminating limiting beliefs.
Don’t Affirm Over An Existing Belief
- Stop layering positive affirmations over an existing belief; remove the belief first.
- You cannot replace a belief until you eliminate the underlying 'fist' holding it.
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Intro
00:00 • 1min
Events Are Neutral; Meaning Comes from Beliefs
01:04 • 2min
Beliefs vs. Patterns: Causation Explained
03:07 • 2min
How Childhood Creates Core Beliefs
05:18 • 2min
Holding Pain Without Spiritual Bypass
07:14 • 2min
Ad break
09:14 • 24sec
Why Beliefs Persist Despite Evidence
09:38 • 3min
Unseeing What We Think We Saw
12:57 • 5min
The Ten Core Beliefs That Run Lives
18:19 • 2min
Changing Patterns By Eliminating Beliefs
20:38 • 4min
Achievement as a Survival Strategy
24:23 • 7min
First Step: Decide What You Want to Change
31:28 • 2min
Identifying Underlying Beliefs Logically
33:32 • 1min
Conditioning & Deconditioning Emotions
34:49 • 3min
Therapy vs. Belief Elimination
37:57 • 2min
Applying 'No Meaning' During Grief
40:11 • 3min
Watering All the Plants: Balanced Well‑being
43:12 • 2min
Healing Money Wounds and Scarcity Beliefs
45:21 • 6min
Cognitive Gateway to Emotional Results
51:33 • 6min
People Create Their Life Through Beliefs
57:34 • 9min
Practical Parenting To Prevent Limiting Beliefs
01:06:25 • 9min
Attention, Affection, Acknowledgement For Children
01:15:21 • 8min
Core Relationship Belief: People Will Hurt or Leave Me
01:23:42 • 8min
Free Resources and Recreate Your Life Program
01:32:06 • 3min
Outro
01:35:11 • 15sec
#18
• Mentioned in 356 episodes
The Body Keeps the Score
Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk
In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery.
The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment.
It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field.
#28140
• Mentioned in 2 episodes
Hitting the Wall
Shelly Lefkoe
Vahan Yepremyan
#9210
• Mentioned in 5 episodes
Happy for No Reason
Marci Shimoff
Carol Kline
Happy for No Reason offers a seven-step program to raise your happiness set-point, enabling you to experience more unconditional happiness in your life.
The book combines findings in positive psychology, powerful tools, and real-life stories to help readers achieve lasting happiness from within.
It emphasizes that true happiness comes from the inside out, regardless of external circumstances.
What would your life look like if you could erase the limiting beliefs that make you feel unworthy, unloved, or not enough?
Josh Trent welcomes Shelly Lefkoe, Belief Eliminator Extraordinaire and Co-Founder of the Lefkoe Institute, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 774, to uncover how childhood beliefs shape our identity, why events are always neutral, how self-doubt is planted early in life, and the proven process for dissolving limiting beliefs so you can experience freedom, confidence, and truth beyond the mind.
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In This Episode, Shelly Lefkoe Uncovers: [01:05] What Creates Meaning and Beliefs?- Why people know what to do and still don't do it.
- How beliefs underline patterns.
- Why beliefs are different from meaning.
- How all emotions come from the meaning we give to events.
Resources:
[06:05] What Meaning Do You Attach to Your Experience?- Why all events have consequences, but they don't have meaning.
- How meaning only exists in our mind.
- Why we don't have any beliefs when we're born.
- How children who are criticized think they're not good enough.
- Why beliefs don't easily go away.
- How we believe what we think we've seen.
- Why children believe in Santa Claus and then one day realize that he isn't real.
- How everything in our lives can be improved by changing our beliefs.
- Why people complicate things because they don't understand what's possible.
- How every person has the same 10 beliefs.
- How pride blocks us from getting to joy.
- Why it's common for Asian parents to focus on their children's achievements.
- How patterns are formed by multiple beliefs.
- The most common beliefs that most people have.
- What helped Shelly become her true self.
Resources:
[30:30] How to Change The Patterns?- Why we first need to address what we want to change and be willing to change.
- How we can change a behavior pattern, emotional pattern, or reality pattern.
- Why some people believe that public speaking is scary.
- How we can decondition the emotions attached to our fears.
Resources:
[36:35] Is Talk Therapy Ever Helpful?- Why therapy can be helpful for people who need to talk.
- How we don't know anything for sure.
- What helped Shelly cope with grief after her husband passed.
- Why positive thinking is not the answer to our problems.
- The importance of taking care of all areas of our lives.
- Why Shelly feels blessed with the life she has.
- Why some children have more resilience than others.
- How many people believe they have to work hard to get results.
- Why Josh connected success with disconnecting from love.
Resources:
- 720 Rick William | EQ Mastery: The Hidden Cost of Not Feeling Your Emotions (The Neurochemistry of Suffering)
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van Der Kolk
- The Latch Theory
- How Shelly's work is a cognitive gateway to emotional results.
- Why pain is a perception of the brain.
- How we can identify our limiting beliefs.
- Why most people don't feel good enough.
- How our lives are consistent with our beliefs.
- Who creates our lives.
- How Shelly refused to get married when she was 19.
- Why she made sure her life was fun.
- How her husband gave her life a purpose.
- Why we are all one.
- How every human being deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
- Why we can prevent children from making false conclusions about our interaction with them.
- The importance of asking the right questions.
- Why Tony Robbins is successful with CEOs.
- How people jump into relationships without asking important questions.
- Why beliefs underlie the capacity to love ourselves and others.
Resources:
- 048 Nir Eyal: Breaking Bad Habits, Technology Addiction, & Emotional Triggers
- 758 Dr. Jud Brewer | Why You Fail Quitting Bad Habits (and How to Finally Break Free)
- Why Shelly's gift in this world is to love well.
- The importance of having good friends.
- How Shelly's friends helped her get over grief.
- What blocks people from having good relationships with other people.
Resources:
- 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born
- Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff
- How not being good enough is the most common belief our children get from us.
- Why using the phone while our children are looking at us causes them to believe they're not important.
- The importance of communicating with our children when we can't give them attention.
- Our circumstances don't have to define our reality.
- Why we shouldn't love our children conditionally.
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All Resources From This Episode- Shelly Lefkoe
- Hitting The Wall by Shelly Lefkoe
- Remove a limiting belief (FREE GUIDE)
- 738 How To Heal Generational Wounds Blocking Your Success + Self-Worth | John Wang
- The Pavlov Experiment
- 720 Rick William | EQ Mastery: The Hidden Cost of Not Feeling Your Emotions (The Neurochemistry of Suffering)
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van Der Kolk
- The Latch Theory
- 048 Nir Eyal: Breaking Bad Habits, Technology Addiction, & Emotional Triggers
- 758 Dr. Jud Brewer | Why You Fail Quitting Bad Habits (and How to Finally Break Free)
- 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born
- Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff
"Meaning's in your mind, it's never in the events. The meaning that you give events generally comes from your beliefs and beliefs get formed in the past. Meaning gets formed in the moment. So when you get rid of beliefs, you get rid of the patterns." — Shelly Lefkoe
"If you get criticized as a child, you say, why can't I live up to mommy and daddy's expectations? Oh, I guess I'm not good enough. Why are mommy and daddy struggling about money? Well, I guess money is scarce and hard to get. That's how the beliefs are formed." — Shelly Lefkoe
"Never ask "why". Why is a terrible question. Even if you knew why, it's not powerful. Ask "what". What is answerable. Why? I don't know. And that's what you'll get from your kid. Why don't you like school? I don't know. What is it about school that you don't like?" — Shelly Lefkoe
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Shelly Lefkoe is Co-founder and CEO of the Lefkoe Institute.
Shelly has helped thousands of clients worldwide recreate their lives by ridding themselves of a wide variety of problems, including phobias, relationships that never seem to work, violence, procrastination, unwillingness to confront people, health and wellness issues, and sexual dysfunction.
Her clients have eliminated emotional patterns such as fear, hostility, shyness, anxiety, depression, worry about what people think of them, and a negative sense of themselves.