TED Talks Daily How do you stop caring what others think? A filmmaker and a therapist answer | Baron Ryan and Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile
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Jun 14, 2025 
Baron Ryan, an internet filmmaker, shares his battle with people-pleasing and offers insights into reclaiming personal power. Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile, a marriage and family therapist, discusses the psychological roots of these behaviors and the fear of rejection. Together, they explore the impact of others’ opinions on our self-esteem and personal growth. They provide practical tips on saying ‘no’ and establishing boundaries, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and authenticity in navigating relationships.
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Stephanie's People-Pleasing Realization
- Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile slowly realized her people-pleasing tendencies in relationships, especially with those she respects or wants to be loved by.
- She would say yes to dreaded requests to avoid being seen as difficult, even acting excited about it.
Speaking Up in Small Moments
- Baron Ryan often doesn't speak up even when uncomfortable, like not telling his Uber driver the AC was too cold.
- Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile contrasts this, freely asking for small favors from strangers but noting close family may avoid inconveniencing others out of burden fear.
Start Admitting Your Discomfort
- Admit when something bothers you, even if only to yourself, as a first step to overcoming people-pleasing.
- Practice communicating your feelings gradually, starting with close friends or family before strangers.