Interdependence w/ William Ury | How To Connect With Someone’s Trauma Even If They Are Accusing You
Feb 2, 2024
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Interdependence expert and international trauma facilitator, William Ury, joins the host to discuss connecting with someone's trauma, negotiation's impact on personal relationships, and the healing power of victim testimonies in peace negotiations. They also touch on the importance of clean water and introduce the aquatrue purifier.
Understanding trauma is essential in resolving conflicts and promoting peace.
Shifting from blame to responsibility is crucial for effective negotiations.
Acknowledging and addressing trauma with compassion can lead to healing and constructive dialogue.
Deep dives
Importance of Gut Health and Probiotics for Overall Health
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Interdependence and Healing Trauma
In a podcast episode about interdependence and healing trauma, experts Thomas Hubel and William Ury discuss their work in resolving conflicts and promoting peace. The focus of their collaboration is on understanding the deep-rooted conflicts that often stem from unprocessed trauma. They emphasize the importance of shifting from a blame game to taking responsibility in order to find equitable solutions. By fostering curiosity, compassion, and deep listening, they aim to transform conflicts and heal individually, relationally, and collectively. Their work highlights the power of solid communication and the potential for resolution in even the most challenging situations.
Shifting from Blame to Responsibility in Negotiations
In negotiations, blaming each other is counterproductive. Instead, the emphasis should be on taking responsibility for one's role in the conflict. By listening attentively and understanding the underlying motivations, negotiators can create a space where discussions revolve around finding equitable solutions. This shift from blame to responsibility enables participants to focus on the present and the future, seeking collaborative problem-solving rather than dwelling on past issues. Respect, empathy, and open-mindedness pave the way for constructive negotiations that benefit all parties involved.
The Role of Trauma in Conflict and Negotiation
Trauma can play a significant role in conflicts and negotiations. Understanding that trauma influences people's actions and perceptions can be crucial in resolving disputes. Trauma can contribute to deep-seated emotions and unprocessed pain, leading to strong reactions during conflictual situations. By acknowledging and addressing trauma with compassionate attention, conflicts can be approached from a fresh perspective. Shifting the focus from blame to responsibility, negotiators who show empathy and strive to attune to the trauma experienced by all parties involved can facilitate healing and constructive dialogue.
The Power of Possibility and Positive Solutions
Negotiations can yield more fruitful outcomes when parties focus on the possibilities and positive resolutions rather than dwelling on blame and obstacles. By listening attentively to each other's needs and concerns, negotiators can uncover creative solutions and identify common ground. Nurturing an atmosphere of respect, understanding, and a shared goal of mutual satisfaction can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, collaboration, and positive change. This perspective encourages an exploration of possibilities that may lead to unexpected and beneficial outcomes for all involved.
We are continuing our series with part three on Interdependence and this is a candid conversation getting to the heart of understanding each other’s traumas in order to resolve conflict. We began with Interdependence Expert & International Trauma Facilitator, Thomas Hübl, whose new book is titled, Attuned: Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma—and Our World. Here I continue the discussion with a friend and often collaborator with Thomas, William Ury. I often bring on past guests for this part three segment, but William is actually a future guest. We spent three hours together recently and I discovered he and Thomas were more than well acquainted and had done much together. William Ury is one of the world’s best-known experts on negotiation, and the co-author of Getting to Yes, the world’s all-time bestselling book on the topic with more than 15 million copies sold. He’s a co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and has devoted his life to helping people, organizations, and nations transform conflicts around the world, having served as a negotiator in many of the toughest disputes of our times and consulted with the White House, the State Department, and the Pentagon. His upcoming book you can preorder now is titled, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict, and we’ll be digging into it here on the show in the coming weeks. But these two men, Thomas Hübl and William Ury are called on by countries and organizations around the globe to bring peace to relationships, whether nation to nation, or person to person.
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*This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children or those with fragile belief systems.
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