The Kevin Miller Podcast

Welcome. I'm Kevin Miller and this is a podcast for your personal evolution.  In this episode  Will A Better World Really Benefit Us & If Not - What Actually Will I’ve struggled with technology and conveniences and efficiency for a long time. All our human advancements with tech and now AI and such are promoted as if they will finally make everything better and us, happier. But I have not experienced any technological advance that has added to my happiness, and actually, I feel it’s done the opposite. How many people have experienced an electricity outage and have stories of how great it was. We get out candles, play games, and talk like we haven’t in ages. On a more grand scale, are all our advances that arguably make life better, resulting in more happiness? Not according to our constantly declining health stats. So if all the “betterment” efforts aren’t making us happy, why? And what will? My guest is Soren Gordhamer. Soren is the founder and host of Wisdom 2.0, the premier conference exploring living with greater mindfulness, wisdom, and compassion in the modern age. Soren brings the leaders of technology, literally the giants who most impact the world as we know it, together with leaders in wisdom to explore how we can create a truly livable world with greater presence, purpose, and connection in this digital age that feels more and more like chaos just speeding up. Soren's work focuses on a central question: as technology becomes ever more integrated into our lives, will it support human thriving and connection—or drive distraction and isolation? He's culminated what he's learned about the influence of tech and now AI into a new book, The Essential: Discovering What Really Matters in an Age of Distraction. I sat down with Soren to get candid on my feeling that all our advancements are not and will not make us happier, and in fact, will continue to add to our declining mental health. Soren sights AI in health as expectant to do great things, such as find a cure for cancer. But I ask that even with that, a cure for cancer, will that actually make us happier? Listen in to hear his response. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The two primary ingredients we think of in regards to success is talent and hard work. We tend to believe greatness comes from having above average talent and putting in your 10,000 hours. Yet if we audit everyone who has achieved relative success, we find many, maybe even most, do not have either of these. So what did they do? They just figured out what works and modeled it. Ron Friedman is an award-winning psychologist and from his research in neuroscience, human physiology and behavioral economics he wrote a book on what he found in regards to this issue, called Decoding Greatness: How the Best in the World Reverse Engineer Success. In this show I dig in and question Ron on how we can all use this reality to better embrace and accelerate our opportunities and success instead of thinking we have to be exceptionally talented or work the hardest. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We as humans tend to look at most everything with a linear perspective. Like every day and our lives are a straight trajectory that is either getting better or worse, depending on the day. We look at our desires as goals and work towards them sequentially, expecting to get closer every day on this so-called, straight line. My guest in this episode is a neuroscientist who believes this is an errant perspective and what our lives and pursuits really align with is experiments. Instead of sequential progress we are often starting over, again and again, till we get it right. I recall the TV series "Lessons in Chemistry," where the main character, Elizabeth Zott, perfected her lasagna recipe after making it 78 times. This wasn’t a linear goal, but an exercise in starting over 78 times, with more wisdom each time. For me this really helps with trying this and then trying that to see what works instead of pushing for one method and feeling like a failure if it doesn’t work. Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff, PhD, is a neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and writer whose work has been in peer-reviewed journals and WIRED, Forbes, Fortune, and Entrepreneur. Her new book is called, Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World and it’s a guide to adopting and living a more experimental life, turning uncertainty into curiosity, and carving a path of self-discovery. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is not about working at your passions, or as my Dad, Dan Miller was famous for, finding the work you love. This is more about the tasks and activities you are engaging with in whatever work you are doing. Think about it like a football team. They are all playing football but they aren’t all playing the same position. So in the daily work you do, what position most excites you? What role are you most suited to fulfill? You could be working in a field that is a perfect fit for you, but you are in a role that is not. Conversely you could be working in a field you care nothing for, but in a role that is perfect for you. I’m bringing back a conversation I had with Jonathan Fields, host of the incredibly popular podcast, the Good Life Project. I’ve had Jonathan on my podcast multiple times and I just so appreciate his spirit and energy. He developed a test of sorts that will help you know what work role fits you best. Where you will be most inspired, or as he calls it, what sparks you? It’s free as well. Go to sparketype.com. As an example, my primary sparketype is Maker. I like to…make things. Build things. And while I build some physical things, most of my spark is in relation to building ideas. My second sparketype is Scientist, which is coming up with ways to make the idea happen. It then showcases what is not, my sparketype. This is not an excuse of what to do and what not to do, but to show you where you are best suited. For me, I continually strive to remain in the roles where I’m sparked, and delegate the other areas of my work to people who are sparked in them, and do a far greater and more efficient job. Again, you can take the test for free at sparketype.com and connect with Jonathan Fields at his podcast, the Good Life Project. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As you may have heard on previous episodes here, I’ve grown a distaste for the concept of validation. It seems everyone wants to talk about their feelings and perspectives and then claim their right to be validated, even if their feelings and perspectives are incredibly misguided and harming themselves and others. I began putting my focus on self-validation and fulfilling the need internally instead of looking to others. It turns out, I wasn’t totally off base, but I was missing out on an opportunity to connect with people. I found out by having a deep conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck, which you are about to hear. Caroline is a licensed psychologist and a world-renowned expert on the topic of validation, and her new book Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life has already been translated in nine different languages. Caroline has an M.A. and PhD from the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and has become a highly respected voice in psychology which finds her featured in national media outlets, such as The New York Times, Good Morning America, and The Huffington Post. When I got the request to have her on the show, I replied back to her personally, sharing my reservations, and asked if she was game to discuss my skepticism on validation. She was, and I got great value and insight into what validation is and is not, and how I can better use it to authentically connect with people, even if I do not at all align or support their perspective. I believe you’ll find great value here. drcarolinefleck.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The answer? I fervently believe there is no one answer. After a lifetime pursuing personal performance and human potential, I struggle with anyone who claims to have a so called solution for what it takes to transform us. But, are there principles? And can we gain understanding of core concepts that are nuanced from one person to another? This I do have faith in. So we’re going to talk with someone who has had a profound journey of personal transformation. Mitch Albom. Many know Mitch as the author of the book, Tuesdays With Morrie in which he shared a journey that radically changed who and how he was forever more. Since then he’s authored more books and shared more stories of transformation. Mitch is not just a best selling author. He’s royalty, having sold well over 40 million copies of his combined books. In this episode I bring back a discussion I had with Mitch about his book, The Stranger In The Lifeboat. Mitch gets billed as writing messages where the spiritual and the earthly collide, and I experience this strongly in The Stranger In The Lifeboat. I started our conversation simply talking about personal transformation. Mitch shares his own radical life change that resulted in the Tuesdays With Morrie book and in the 20+ years since then, his continual transformation has been his devotion. So what does it take to transform a life? Our lives? We got deep into the very tenets of faith and our cultural views of God, and our personal journeys. www.mitchalbom.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My only family heirloom is my Dad’s 1960s stereo console he had at boarding school. As a kid my parents listened to the music of that time and I’ll always have a special place for the likes of Barbra Striesand, The Bee Gees, and James Taylor. Around the age of seven a family friend gifted me with a transistor radio and though I had a couple dogs, my best friend became music, and the love affair not only never ended, it continues to flourish. I’ve always felt music was more than just a mere accoutrement to life but had never dug into any psychological research. Until now. What you are about to hear I feel will elevate your utilization of music to improve your life. Sara Leila Sherman is my guest. Sara is a big name in the New York music scene. She’s a distinguished classical musician and a graduate of the Manhattan School of Music and has performed at Lincoln Center, Steinway Hall, Yamaha Artist Salon and all the impressive places. But it’s her interest in blending music and mindfulness that got my attention. Sara has pioneered innovative approaches that empower educators and parents to use music as a tool for mindful learning and personal growth. Sara is a music lover, from classical to pop. She grew up with a Dad, Mort Sherman, who loved music and ingrained Sara in its glory and power. Together they’ve written a book, Resonant Minds: The Transformative Power of Music, One Note at a Time. I brought Sara on to help understand why I’ve felt so much power and resonance in music. One aspect you’re about to hear is Sara’s research into how music engages all the parts of your brain, so it makes sense that when you feel emotions or have experiences accompanied by intentional music, it makes a bigger impact on you. That info alone was worth the conversation. But we covered…more. https://www.resonantminds.com/ Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the past year and a half much of my research on personal evolution has been around the concept of reality and how we perceive it, or rather, how we do not perceive it. As I gear up to offer you some new and I feel revolutionary concepts, in this episode I’m replaying a conversation I had on the topic of reality, with best selling author Jon Acuff. Jon is the New York Times bestselling author of seven books, and our focus in this conversation is his book, Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution To Overthinking. This was the second time I had Jon on the podcast and he has a skill for bringing profound personal development messages to us in an entertaining and I feel highly digestible perspective. I admire his way to connect with where people are in the so-called reality of their lives. A reality that as you're about to hear, he says we manufacture, and I sincerely agree. We dig into issues such as; We think our memory is a GoPro recording of “reality”, when in fact we're just filtering it through our own cognitive bias, one that has a quick decline in memory consistency. But we base our beliefs on it. Jon asks, “Why is it so easy to repeat negative soundtracks about myself internally and so hard to repeat positive soundtracks about myself externally?” The premise of the book and message is that we are living from soundtracks in our mind that we often need to Retire, Replace, then Repeat with new ones, over and over. Jon discusses with me how our brain has a habit of negativity and consistently lies about our memories, confuses fake trauma with real trauma, and steadfastly believes what it already believes. You can find Jon’s book, Soundtracks, anywhere, and connect with him at acuff.me where he has a new offering, the Soundtracks Conversations Card Deck. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the greatest joys and fulfillments of life is helping another person. Not through the base obligations we have to family, but to reach out when we don’t have to and help lift another person up. But I find two problems that arise for most all of us; we don’t know where to plug in to really help others and when we do happen to see opportunities to serve they often feel ill fitting for who we are. So we have good intent and don’t get to apply it. Queue up my guest today, Neil Ghosh. Neil is a renowned social entrepreneur, humanitarian, and philanthropist. He has written a book that to me is both inspiring, and incredibly equipping as a resource manual for doing good in the world. The book is aptly titled, Do More Good: Inspiring Lessons From Extraordinary People. The forward is from the Dalai Lama himself, and the book is endorsed by such notable figures such as President Bill Clinton and Nobel Peace Laureate, Professor Muhammad Yunus. Neil has the book in three sections, Sit, Rise, and Act. They showcase three ways we can serve the world according to our personal style, in essence. Then in each category he highlights 10 or so people, some famous, some not, and he shares how they uniquely bettered the world, the lesson we can learn from how and what they did, and then shares a list of organizations we can engage with to help in a similar way, plus ways we can embody the way of serving, in our lives today, right where we are. I was incredibly inspired in this conversation with Neil and feel you’ll leave enthused and equipped to give of yourself in new and uplifting ways. You can find Neil’s book, Do More Good, anywhere and connect with him at neilghosh.net Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people have heard of The Inklings, the informal literary discussion group based in Oxford, England in the 1930s and 1940s, known for fostering the writing and development of fantasy and other genres and specifically the greatest writings, and friendships, of authors such as C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, of The Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of The Rings fame. I am a great, great fan of Lewis and Tolkien and have always been enamored with this group they were a part of that met consistently for nearly two decades. A few years back I was introduced to a book called Bandersnatch: C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the Creative Collaboration of the Inklings. It was written by Diana Pavlac Glyer, a professor in the Honors College at Azusa Pacific University in Southern California where she teaches literature, history, theology, and philosophy in an integrated Great Books curriculum. In Diana’s book, Bandersnatch, she uses her research on The Inklings to explain what we can learn about creativity, productivity, collaboration and community. What I discovered from Diana was that this group of authors didn’t just meet to discuss and refine their work, but they were intrinsically involved in each other's work and not only spurred each other on, but actually sparred with each other. Diana greatly dispels what she refers to as, “the myth of the solitary genius.” The charge and takeaway from this conversation is the opportunity and great benefit we can derive from really investing in other’s pursuits. A structure I continue to grapple with creating, but am enamored with, as here is a group of people who did it, it helped create wild success, and we really struggle to follow their example. You can find Diana at dianaglyer.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices