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The Self-Driven Child

The SAT, ACT, and Other Four-Letter Words: What Do You Say When Your Kid's Scores are Low?

Nov 12, 2024
Discussing the emotional whirlwind sparked by disappointing test scores, parents learn the importance of supportive communication. Common phrases might backfire, adding pressure instead of relief. Understanding what to say—like validating feelings instead of dismissing them—can strengthen trust and resilience. Shifting from labeling mistakes to seeing them as learning opportunities fosters a healthier mindset. This conversation encourages parents to be a steady support for their teens, creating a safe space amid the chaos of high-stakes testing.
22:35

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Quick takeaways

  • Parental language significantly impacts how students perceive their test scores, highlighting the need for supportive communication instead of pressure-inducing phrases.
  • Validating students' emotions around disappointing scores fosters trust and encourages open discussions, ultimately helping them address underlying issues and learn from mistakes.

Deep dives

The Role of Parental Language in Test Anxiety

Parental language plays a significant role in how students perceive their standardized test performance. Phrases like “you’re so much smarter than this” can inadvertently increase a child’s anxiety by implying that their scores reflect their intelligence. Such statements can also create pressure for students to not only perform well for college admissions but also to prove their intelligence. Instead, expressing curiosity and support can foster a collaborative approach to address the underlying issues that contributed to disappointing scores.

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