Melissa Urban, CEO of Whole30, discusses the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and shares key boundaries to create. She also explores the challenges of setting boundaries for oneself and steps to distance from those who disregard them.
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Quick takeaways
Setting boundaries in relationships is crucial for creating a healthier dynamic and fostering trust.
Creating healthier boundaries around food involves considering various factors such as accessibility, affordability, and emotional influences.
Expressing feelings and creating a safe space for emotions are essential for emotional well-being and growth.
Deep dives
Creating Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries are essential in relationships, even in close and vulnerable ones. Setting boundaries is not about pushing people away, but rather expressing your needs and creating a healthier dynamic. One key aspect is clear communication, saying what you mean and meaning what you say. This eliminates misunderstandings and fosters trust. Boundaries also involve taking responsibility for your own needs and feelings, and not expecting others to read your mind. Boundaries can evolve and become more flexible as the relationship progresses, ultimately leading to freedom and harmony.
Creating Boundaries around Food
Creating healthier boundaries around food can be challenging due to various factors. Systemic factors like accessibility and affordability of healthy food options can play a role. Physiological factors like stress can lead to craving foods that provide instant energy. Emotional and psychological factors may also influence food choices. It's important to approach food choices from a broader perspective, considering the context, enjoyment, and occasional indulgences while maintaining overall awareness and balance.
The Importance of Expressing Feelings and Setting Boundaries
Expressing feelings and setting boundaries go hand in hand for emotional well-being. For many, not expressing feelings can lead to negative coping mechanisms such as emotional eating. Creating a safe space to talk about feelings is crucial. Engaging in activities like spending time in nature, journaling, or seeking support from loved ones can provide outlets for emotions. Allowing space for feelings, even if they are not positive, can lead to growth, healing, and a sense of freedom.
Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Setting boundaries in relationships is important to establish early on. It allows partners to see how they discuss and view boundaries and how they handle push back. Boundaries create a sense of safety and respect within a relationship. For example, setting boundaries with children involves modeling healthy boundaries and establishing limits on their behalf. This helps children understand their agency and learn to set boundaries themselves.
Setting Boundaries with Yourself
Setting boundaries with yourself is a powerful way to reclaim control over your time, energy, and mental health. It involves making commitments and sticking to them, even when it's tempting to compromise. By considering the impact of your actions on your future self, it becomes easier to prioritize and maintain boundaries. For example, setting limits on phone usage before bed helps ensure a restful night's sleep and a productive morning routine.
Melissa Urban is the co-founder and CEO of Whole30 and an authority on helping people create lifelong healthy habits. She is a seven-time New York Times bestselling author and has been featured by People, Good Morning America, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and CNBC.