512: The Mother In Law Dilemma: Dealing With Complex Family Relationships with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish

Jan 12, 2026

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist, dives into the complexities of in-law relationships, emphasizing societal pressures like 'good girl' conditioning. She introduces her VAULT method to help couples navigate family dynamics while preserving their identity. The duo explores unspoken expectations, the importance of setting boundaries, and how to manage family heritage without blame. Dalgleish's insights reveal how modern challenges, including social media's impact, reshape family interactions and boundaries.

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INSIGHT

Generational Role Tensions

Mothers-in-law may feel threatened when they see daughters-in doing things they never had the chance to do.
That discrepancy often creates tension rooted in insecurity and differing roles across generations.

INSIGHT

The Good-Relationship Cover

Many people preface in-law stories by claiming they 'have a good relationship' to avoid shame.
Yet most couples report conflict because of in-laws, revealing a cultural silence around the issue.

INSIGHT

Repair Over Avoidance

Repair, tolerating discomfort, and boundary-setting are key skills many families lack.
Avoiding these skills fuels long-term resentment and can lead toward estrangement.

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Welcome back to Therapy Chat! This week, as a follow-up to last week's episode on Family Estrangement, I'm speaking with Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish about the complexity of in-law and extended family relationships.

We discussed how "good girl" conditioning and other cultural expectations contribute to tension when families join together through marriage. I talked about my experiences as a young wife integrating into a new family dynamic and what I wish I had known back then.

Dr. Dalgleish describes some of the factors that contribute to healthy relationships and her VAULT Method that she developed to help couples and families navigate these challenges. If you found last week's episode to be interesting, this will provide more food for thought!

Resources from this episode:

Find Dr. Tracy Dalgleish's newest book, You, Your Husband and His Mother here.

Dr. Tracy's podcast, membership and much more can be found here.

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