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#115 Stop Spiraling: The 4-Step Check-In That Resets Your Mind | Gabby Bernstein

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Jan 22, 2026

Guest

Gabrielle Bernstein

Gabrielle Bernstein, a spiritual teacher and bestselling author, shares powerful insights on overcoming self-sabotage and rewiring our mindset. She explains that true confidence comes from befriending our inner selves rather than merely believing in ourselves. Gabrielle introduces the 'bubble/ball' method to curb nighttime spirals and discusses the concept of Internal Family Systems, emphasizing the importance of healing childhood wounds to attract healthier relationships. She encourages listeners to shift from pushing to allowing, inviting abundance by embracing self-compassion.

01:08:43

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Episode notes

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ADVICE

Set Achievable Stepping-Stone Goals

Change big goals into achievable stepping-stone goals that match your current confidence.
Put your energy first and choose actions that feel aligned instead of overreaching.

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ADVICE

Alchemize Nighttime Spirals

Stop the 3 a.m. spiral by visualizing the story in a ball and sending it away.
Then deliberately reach for the next best-feeling thought or action to shift your state.

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ADVICE

Journal And Time-Bound 'Giveaway'

Write intrusive to-dos on a notebook by your bed and give yourself permission to handle them later.
Time-bound giving problems away (e.g., 'just for today') to create emotional separation.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Why adjust goals when confidence is low

01:13 • 3min

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Breaking 3 AM spirals with visualization

04:00 • 5min

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Allowing versus pushing to attract more

09:10 • 2min

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Showing up with high-frequency energy

11:31 • 7min

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Choose again: notice, forgive, redirect

18:41 • 4min

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Internal Family Systems explained

22:22 • 3min

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How to spot a part in yourself

25:09 • 1min

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Using curiosity and compassion with parts

26:18 • 4min

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The Four-Step Check-In practice

30:39 • 2min

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Applying IFS to relationships

32:55 • 3min

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Why you're a match for certain partners

35:41 • 2min

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Real boundaries arise from self-compassion

37:56 • 5min

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Unburdening parts and deep therapy work

42:54 • 3min

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How to judge a good therapist

45:43 • 4min

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Using AI and apps when therapy isn't available

49:51 • 4min

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Channeling, mediums, and Dear Guides podcast

54:00 • 4min

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From pushing to receptive abundance

57:35 • 6min

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Final takeaway: do less, attract more

• Mentioned in 21 episodes

The Universe Has Your Back

Transform Fear to Faith

Gabrielle Bernstein

In this book, Gabrielle Bernstein teaches readers how to transform their fear into faith to live a more guided and fulfilling life. The book provides stories and lessons that help readers release the need to control and instead relax into a sense of certainty and freedom. It emphasizes the importance of surrendering to the power of the universe, focusing on positive energy, and cultivating a mindset of love and gratitude. By following the principles outlined in the book, readers can find strength, synchronicity, and joy even in challenging times.

#1007

• Mentioned in 34 episodes

Self-help

Samuel Smiles

Published in 1859, 'Self-Help' by Samuel Smiles is a landmark in the self-help genre. The book advocates for personal responsibility and the virtues of hard work, industry, and character. It uses numerous biographical examples, including those of George Stephenson and Josiah Wedgwood, to illustrate how individuals can achieve success through their own efforts. The book was highly influential in Victorian Britain and beyond, selling over a quarter of a million copies by the time of Smiles' death in 1904. It has been translated into many languages and remains a significant text in the history of self-help literature.

Most people think confidence is about believing in yourself. Gabrielle Bernstein knows better — it's about befriending the parts of yourself that hold you back. After two decades as a spiritual teacher and writing 11 bestselling books, the author of The Universe Has Your Back and Self-Help has cracked the code on why we sabotage our success, stay stuck in negative loops, and block the very abundance we're trying to attract.

In this raw, deeply personal conversation, Gabrielle breaks down the exact Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework that changed her life, why pushing harder actually blocks manifestation, how suppressed trauma creates parts that sabotage you decades later, and why the 3 AM spiral can be stopped by visualizing your thoughts in a bubble and sending them away.

And it’s not just vibes — it's applied psychology. If you've ever felt like you're blocking your own success, spiraling in negative self-talk, or pushing so hard you can't receive what's trying to come to you, this episode will rewire how you think about confidence, manifestation, and what it actually takes to attract abundance.

If this episode hits a nerve, good. Because insight without action is just expensive therapy. That’s why we built Main Street Millionaire Live — three days with real operators learning how to buy and build boring, cash-flowing businesses that create actual freedom. Main Street Millionaire Live is where mindset turns into money.

Less manifesting. More ownership. Learn more at https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML_BDYT26

Keep up with Gabrielle Bernstein:

Website: https://gabbybernstein.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabbyb

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GabrielleBernstein

Podcast: https://gabbybernstein.com/podcast/

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00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:25 The Confidence Problem: Why We Don't Set Big Goals 00:04:03 Breaking the Spiral: The Loop-Breaking Method 00:09:02 When You Change How You Look at Things, Everything Changes 00:09:46 Doing vs. Allowing: Drop the Tupperware, Keep the China 00:11:30 Manifesting Done Right: You're Always Manifesting Something 00:16:16 Energy Is Contagious: The Science Behind Your Imprint 00:18:04 Main Street Millionaire Live: Your Path to Business Ownership 00:18:40 The Choose Again Method: Name It, Forgive It, Redirect It 00:21:16 Why We Lose Our Joy: Core Beliefs and Protection Mechanisms 00:22:18 Internal Family Systems: Befriending the Parts That Hold You Back 00:31:03 The Four-Step Check-In: How to Heal Your Parts 00:39:20 Real Boundaries Come From Self-Compassion, Not Rage 00:28:13 The Hormone Monster: Perimenopause, Parts, and Partnership 00:45:42 How to Find a Good Therapist: The Safety Test 00:50:04 AI, Mediumship, and the Future of Spiritual Guidance 00:56:38 Abundance, Receptivity, and the Maternal Energy Shift 01:03:57 Do Less, Attract More: The Promise That Changes Everything 01:04:52 Main Street Millionaire Live: Join the Revolution

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