Relationships Made Easy 342. You Don’t Have to Earn It: Breaking Free from Transactional Self-Worth
Jul 7, 2025
Explore the feelings of inadequacy that many face in their work and relationships. Discover the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, and learn why love shouldn't feel like a job interview. Delve into how parenting styles affect children's self-worth, emphasizing the need for warmth over control. Understand the importance of prioritizing rest and recognizing your intrinsic value. The discussion wraps up with practical strategies for breaking free from transactional love, fostering genuine connections, and embracing unconditional self-worth.
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Self-Worth vs Self-Esteem Explained
- Self-worth is your intrinsic value just for existing.
- Self-esteem depends on performance or external validation, while performance identity ties worth only to what you do.
Contingent Self-Worth Effects
- Contingent self-worth means love or value is earned under conditions.
- It leads to anxiety, depression, rejection sensitivity, and suppressing true emotions.
Abby’s Narcissistic Mom Story
- Abby shares her experience with a narcissistic mother making love conditional on behavior.
- This taught her to hide parts of herself and strive for conditional acceptance.
