Relationships Made Easy

Dr. Abby Medcalf
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Aug 25, 2025 • 42min

347. When Your Partner Takes Other People’s Side (And What to Do About It)

Learn why your partner defends others instead of validating you, why it hurts so much, how this breaks the goodwill pillar of trust, and exactly how to change this dynamic with actionable scripts and research-backed tools.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/partner-takes-other-peoples-sideGrab 5 Scripts to Get the Emotional Support You Need (Without a Fight): https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-support-scriptsJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Aug 18, 2025 • 43min

346. Why You Stay: The Brain Science of Trauma Bonding and How to Break Free

You know the relationship isn’t healthy. Your friends see it. You feel it. So why can’t you let go? Maybe you’ve said something like:"They’re not perfect, but we have a deep connection.""When it’s good, it’s really good.""I know I should leave, but I just can’t." Today we’re diving deep into the neuroscience of trauma bonding: why your brain gets hooked on the highs and lows, what it’s trying to protect you from, and how to break free from cycles that feel like love but aren’t.____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-stay-the-brain-science-of-trauma-bonding-and-how-to-break-free Try this Self-Assessment Quiz and Reflection Guide: Is It Love or a Trauma Bond? https://abbymedcalf.com/trauma-bonding-assessmentGet Therapy-to-Go bundle! Join Abby's One Love Collective: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack or purchase it here. Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Aug 11, 2025 • 34min

345. Forgiveness Is a One-Person Job: Why You Don’t Need Them to Feel Better

We’re taught that forgiveness is a mutual thing. That it’s about making amends, talking it through, hugging it out. But the truth, the freeing and maybe painful truth, is that forgiveness isn’t a two-person process. It never has been. Today you’ll learn all about reclaiming forgiveness as something you do for you. You’ll learn the big mistake you’re making when you’re trying to forgive (it’s why it’s been so hard to do before) and my five steps to practice forgiveness as a one-person process.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/forgiveness-is-a-one-person-job-why-you-dont-need-them-to-feel-better Take the Forgiveness Finder Self-Assessment: https://abbymedcalf.com/forgiveness-finder Join Abby’s One Love Community on Substack and get ad-free podcast episodes, Live Q&As with Abby, and Therapy-to-Go Bundles for each episode! https://abbymedcalf.com/substack Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jul 28, 2025 • 14min

Season 8 Sneak Peek: New Format, Big News, and How to Get Involved

In this teaser for Season 8, Abby shares a quick update on what’s changing and what’s staying the same on the Relationships Made Easy podcast. You’ll hear about the exciting launch of her second podcast (Workplace Therapy) and how you can help shape Season 8 by sending in your questions and topic suggestions.Want to dive deeper? Join Abby’s private online community, The One Love Collective, now on Substack at https://abbymedcalf.com/substack____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/season-8-relationships-made-easy-preview Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to  https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jul 21, 2025 • 39min

344. Why Is Dating So Damn Hard Right Now? (And How to Spot Real Emotional Availability)

If you’ve been wondering whether dating is harder than it used to be, I’m here to tell you: yes. You’re not imagining things. It’s not just that you’re older, pickier, or doomed to attract commitment-phobes. The truth is, dating today has a unique set of challenges, most of which are designed to keep you swiping, second-guessing, and emotionally confused. But don’t panic. Today we’re going to break down why dating feels so hard right now (it’s not just you), what emotional availability really means, and what you can do to shift how you date so you stop wasting time.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-is-dating-so-damn-hard-right-now-and-how-to-spot-real-emotional-availability Take this quick quiz to see how emotionally available you and your partner really are: https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-available-assessment Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to  https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jul 14, 2025 • 32min

343. Micro-Gaslighting: The Tiny Cuts That Undermine You

You know those moments that make you pause and think, “Wait, am I being ridiculous right now?” You feel off, but you can’t quite explain why. The conversation wasn’t overtly mean. You weren’t screamed at. But still… something felt wrong. Well, you might be experiencing micro-gaslighting. We already know that gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation meant to distort your sense of reality. But micro-gaslighting is sneakier. It hides behind sarcasm, “jokes,” and well-meaning comments that, over time, make you question yourself in small, cumulative ways. Today we’ll discuss the differences between gaslighting and micro-gaslighting, why it happens, whether you might be doing it yourself and, as always, my top six action steps to move forward.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/micro-gaslighting-the-tiny-cuts-that-undermine-you Get the Relationship Inventory: Emotional Safety Check-In Worksheet: https://abbymedcalf.com/relationship-inventoryLearn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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13 snips
Jul 7, 2025 • 40min

342. You Don’t Have to Earn It: Breaking Free from Transactional Self-Worth

Explore the feelings of inadequacy that many face in their work and relationships. Discover the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, and learn why love shouldn't feel like a job interview. Delve into how parenting styles affect children's self-worth, emphasizing the need for warmth over control. Understand the importance of prioritizing rest and recognizing your intrinsic value. The discussion wraps up with practical strategies for breaking free from transactional love, fostering genuine connections, and embracing unconditional self-worth.
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Jun 30, 2025 • 50min

341. When Your Partner Is Being Evasive, Withholding Information, or Lying: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Deception

Nothing makes your stomach drop quite like that moment when you realize your partner isn’t telling you the truth. Whether it's an outright lie, a carefully omitted detail, or that uneasy feeling that they're sidestepping around something important, suspecting deception in your relationship is gut-wrenching. And when gaslighting enters the picture? That's when you start questioning not just them, but your own reality. But here's the good news: you're not powerless, you're not crazy, and there are concrete, research-backed ways to handle this situation. Today I’m talking about everything, including types of deception, why people lie, some misconceptions about deception, whether it’s possible to rebuild trust, when to walk away, and my five-step plan for how to deal with deception in your relationship.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/when-your-partner-is-being-evasive-withholding-information-or-lying-a-guide-to-navigating-relationship-deception Are you being manipulated? Take the Gaslighting Assessment: https://abbymedcalf.com/gaslighting Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to  https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jun 23, 2025 • 54min

340. Judgment Detox: 8 Steps to Be Less Critical and More Connected

While judgment can be a natural human response, being judgmental can erode your relationships and seriously hinder your personal growth. Yes, judgment feels good at first. It gives you a hit of certainty, a sense of superiority, and the illusion of control. But over time, it poisons your perspective and isolates you from the very connection you crave. Today we’ll talk about why you judge, the problems it causes, and my 8 steps to help you become less judgmental.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/judgment-detox-8-steps-to-be-less-critical-and-more-connected Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/mindfulness-starter-kit/ Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to  https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jun 16, 2025 • 47min

339. Why You Keep Proving Yourself Right (Even When You're Miserable): The Psychology of Confirmation Bias and Defense Mechanisms

You break up with someone and suddenly, every memory is framed as proof that they never really cared. You get into an argument with your mom, and you leave convinced, once again, that she just doesn’t get you. You walk into a work meeting with the story that your boss doesn’t respect you, and now every glance or tone of voice becomes more “evidence.” Sound familiar? That’s confirmation bias, and it’s working hand-in-hand with a set of mental strategies called defense mechanisms. Together, they keep you feeling justified and self-protected. But they also keep you stuck and locked inside the same limiting beliefs about yourself and everyone around you. Today I’ll explain what confirmation bias really is, how your defense mechanisms support it, and my top five research-backed steps to interrupt your confirmation bias so you can create connected, joyful relationships.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-keep-proving-yourself-right-even-when-youre-miserable-the-psychology-of-confirmation-bias-and-defense-mechanisms Take the Quiz! What’s Your Go-To Defense Mechanism: https://abbymedcalf.com/defense-mechanism-quiz Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to  https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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