
Relationships Made Easy
The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about. I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself. Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Latest episodes

Jul 14, 2025 • 32min
343. Micro-Gaslighting: The Tiny Cuts That Undermine You
You know those moments that make you pause and think, “Wait, am I being ridiculous right now?” You feel off, but you can’t quite explain why. The conversation wasn’t overtly mean. You weren’t screamed at. But still… something felt wrong. Well, you might be experiencing micro-gaslighting. We already know that gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation meant to distort your sense of reality. But micro-gaslighting is sneakier. It hides behind sarcasm, “jokes,” and well-meaning comments that, over time, make you question yourself in small, cumulative ways. Today we’ll discuss the differences between gaslighting and micro-gaslighting, why it happens, whether you might be doing it yourself and, as always, my top six action steps to move forward.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/micro-gaslighting-the-tiny-cuts-that-undermine-you Get the Relationship Inventory: Emotional Safety Check-In Worksheet: https://abbymedcalf.com/relationship-inventoryLearn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jul 7, 2025 • 40min
342. You Don’t Have to Earn It: Breaking Free from Transactional Self-Worth
Explore the feelings of inadequacy that many face in their work and relationships. Discover the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, and learn why love shouldn't feel like a job interview. Delve into how parenting styles affect children's self-worth, emphasizing the need for warmth over control. Understand the importance of prioritizing rest and recognizing your intrinsic value. The discussion wraps up with practical strategies for breaking free from transactional love, fostering genuine connections, and embracing unconditional self-worth.

Jun 30, 2025 • 50min
341. When Your Partner Is Being Evasive, Withholding Information, or Lying: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Deception
Nothing makes your stomach drop quite like that moment when you realize your partner isn’t telling you the truth. Whether it's an outright lie, a carefully omitted detail, or that uneasy feeling that they're sidestepping around something important, suspecting deception in your relationship is gut-wrenching. And when gaslighting enters the picture? That's when you start questioning not just them, but your own reality. But here's the good news: you're not powerless, you're not crazy, and there are concrete, research-backed ways to handle this situation. Today I’m talking about everything, including types of deception, why people lie, some misconceptions about deception, whether it’s possible to rebuild trust, when to walk away, and my five-step plan for how to deal with deception in your relationship.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/when-your-partner-is-being-evasive-withholding-information-or-lying-a-guide-to-navigating-relationship-deception Are you being manipulated? Take the Gaslighting Assessment: https://abbymedcalf.com/gaslighting Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 23, 2025 • 54min
340. Judgment Detox: 8 Steps to Be Less Critical and More Connected
While judgment can be a natural human response, being judgmental can erode your relationships and seriously hinder your personal growth. Yes, judgment feels good at first. It gives you a hit of certainty, a sense of superiority, and the illusion of control. But over time, it poisons your perspective and isolates you from the very connection you crave. Today we’ll talk about why you judge, the problems it causes, and my 8 steps to help you become less judgmental.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/judgment-detox-8-steps-to-be-less-critical-and-more-connected Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/mindfulness-starter-kit/ Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 16, 2025 • 47min
339. Why You Keep Proving Yourself Right (Even When You're Miserable): The Psychology of Confirmation Bias and Defense Mechanisms
You break up with someone and suddenly, every memory is framed as proof that they never really cared. You get into an argument with your mom, and you leave convinced, once again, that she just doesn’t get you. You walk into a work meeting with the story that your boss doesn’t respect you, and now every glance or tone of voice becomes more “evidence.” Sound familiar? That’s confirmation bias, and it’s working hand-in-hand with a set of mental strategies called defense mechanisms. Together, they keep you feeling justified and self-protected. But they also keep you stuck and locked inside the same limiting beliefs about yourself and everyone around you. Today I’ll explain what confirmation bias really is, how your defense mechanisms support it, and my top five research-backed steps to interrupt your confirmation bias so you can create connected, joyful relationships.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-keep-proving-yourself-right-even-when-youre-miserable-the-psychology-of-confirmation-bias-and-defense-mechanisms Take the Quiz! What’s Your Go-To Defense Mechanism: https://abbymedcalf.com/defense-mechanism-quiz Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 9, 2025 • 45min
338. How to Stop Taking It Personally: 5 Steps to Listen Without Getting Defensive
It’s not hard to stay calm and open when someone is complimenting your outfit or thanking you for dinner. But when they’re disappointed in you? Hurt by something you said? Frustrated by a mistake you made? That’s when your brain shifts into protect mode. And suddenly, instead of listening, you’re defending, explaining, or withdrawing. Defensiveness is one of the biggest barriers to connection, whether it’s with your partner, your boss, your best friend, or your teenager. But if you can learn to manage your internal response to criticism, or even perceived criticism, you can show up differently in every relationship you care about. Today we’ll talk about why you get defensive; you’ll be able to take a quiz to identify your defense style and, of course, I’ll share my five steps to listen without getting defensive.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-stop-taking-it-personally-5-steps-to-listen-without-getting-defensiveTake the What’s Your Defense Style Quiz: https://abbymedcalf.com/defense-quizLearn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy, https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbookWant to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 2, 2025 • 60min
337. Why We’re So Afraid to Be Alone (and the Five Steps to Feel at Ease with Yourself)
We talk a lot about loneliness these days, but we don’t talk enough about why being alone triggers such deep fear for so many of us. Is it just about relationships? Or is there something deeper, hard-wired into our biology and psychology? Spoiler: it's both. And understanding the roots of this fear is the first step to changing it. If you’ve ever felt that pit in your stomach at the thought of an empty weekend, or stayed in a relationship far too long just to avoid solitude, you know exactly what I mean. The fear of being alone is deeply human. While part of it is hard-wired for survival, much of it is learned and reinforced by the world around us. The good news? Once we understand the roots of this fear, we can start to unlearn it, and even come to appreciate alone time as a source of strength, not weakness. Today we’ll discuss the biology, the psychology, and my top five research-backed action steps to reduce your fear of being alone.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-were-so-afraid-to-be-alone-and-the-five-steps-to-feel-at-ease-with-yourselfGet the worksheet Create Your Own Script for Moments of Loneliness: https://abbymedcalf.com/lonelinessLearn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbookWant to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 26, 2025 • 44min
336. Is Food Addiction Real? Here’s the Truth (and 5 Steps to Healing)
Let’s start with a hard truth wrapped in a soft blanket: Yes, food addiction is real, and if you’re struggling with it, you’re not broken, lazy, or weak. You’re human. You’re living in a world where the food industry spends billions engineering snacks to hijack your brain, and your biology is just doing its thing, trying to survive. Today we’ll cover all the research and the “why” of food addiction, and then I’ll give you my five actionable steps to start healing your food addiction.____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/is-food-addiction-real-heres-the-truth Take the 5-Day Dopamine Reset Challenge! https://abbymedcalf.com/challenge Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comFor more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 19, 2025 • 38min
335. Are You a Narcissist and Don’t Know It? The Truth About Healthy Selfishness vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
“I’m just putting myself first, is that narcissistic?” “Am I being selfish or setting a boundary?” “I think I might be a narcissist.” Sound familiar? If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, take a deep breath. You’re probably not a narcissist. But the fact that you're even wondering is worth unpacking, because somewhere between healthy self-love and full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), things get murky. So let’s clear it up. Today we’re digging into the difference between being self-focused (a good thing), being selfish (sometimes good, sometimes not), and having narcissistic traits or full-blown NPD (not great). Then, you’ll learn my five action steps for building healthy self-love without going overboard.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/are-you-a-narcissist-and-dont-know-it-the-truth-about-healthy-selfishness-vs-narcissistic-personality-disorderTake the Quiz! Self-Love or Narcissism? https://abbymedcalf.com/narcissism-quizLearn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbookWant to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Facebook: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May 12, 2025 • 1h 5min
334. Dopamine Detoxing is a Scam (But You Should Still Do It)
In today's fast-paced digital world, the concept of "dopamine detoxing" has gained traction as a method to reset our brains from constant stimulation. But what exactly is dopamine detoxing, and does it hold any scientific merit? Today, we'll delve into the science behind dopamine, debunk the myths surrounding dopamine detoxing, explore how modern motivations hijack your brain's reward system, and then I’ll give you actionable strategies to recalibrate your relationship with dopamine and your world so you can feel more peaceful, serene, and content.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/dopamine-detoxing-is-a-scam-but-you-should-still-do-it Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/mindfulness-starter-kit/ Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes. Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.comReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalfInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.