Freedom Pact | Joseph and Lewis #397: Dr Robert Glover - Healing The Wounds That Shape Your Attachment, Shame & Relationships
Dec 9, 2025
Dr. Robert Glover, a renowned therapist and bestselling author, delves into the complexities of 'nice guy syndrome' and its roots in childhood experiences. He discusses how societal expectations can render nice guys invisible, leading to frustration and underachievement. Glover highlights the importance of confronting early attachment issues and understanding the role of shame in relationships. He provides insights on healthy vulnerability, effective boundary-setting, and what truly makes a man attractive—comfort in one's skin, purposeful direction, and enjoying life's journey.
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Practice Real Differentiation
- Ask yourself 'What do I want?' and choose accordingly even when anxious or guilty.
- Follow through on decisions despite change-back messages from family.
Boundaries With Parents Backfired Then Healed
- Robert tried setting boundaries with his mother and invited his parents to therapy, which backfired initially.
- He ended up not speaking to them for 15 years before reconciliation began after major life events.
Change Families By Perturbating The System
- Don’t try to change a fused family by small adjustments; expect first-order change to revert.
- Create second-order change by making a fundamental, unpredictable shift in the system.
