How To Stop Work Stress From Destroying Your Relationship | Guy Winch

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Jan 12, 2026

Join psychologist Guy Winch, known for his expertise in emotional health, as he explores the hidden effects of chronic work stress on romantic relationships. He reveals how stress can create emotional numbness, leading partners to feel distant. Winch emphasizes the importance of changing your narrative around stress and provides practical tools to reconnect with your loved ones. Discover how simple acts of kindness from managers can reduce stress and learn the significance of creating joyful moments throughout your day.

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INSIGHT

Stress-Induced Emotional Numbing

Chronic work stress can create emotional numbness that feels like falling out of love.
Guy Winch explains the brain shuts down feelings to protect functioning, which also blocks connection with partners.

ANECDOTE

Clients Mistake Numbness For Partner Change

Guy Winch recounts working with people who thought their partner changed but were actually numb from stress.
Partners become distant after repeated stiff, work-mode returns home and reciprocal affection fades.

INSIGHT

Caring Beats Control In Stress Reduction

Simple expressions of caring at work powerfully reduce stress even when managers lack control.
Small human gestures from managers or coworkers significantly lower employee stress.

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Here's what nobody tells you about chronic work stress: it doesn't just make you tired or irritable. It shuts down your ability to feel anything at all. Guy Winch has worked with hundreds of people who thought they'd fallen out of love with their partners, only to discover something more unsettling. They hadn't fallen out of love. They'd gone numb. When you're treading water with the stress level up to your neck, your brain does something protective but devastating. It turns off the feelings to help you function. The problem is, it doesn't just turn off the stress. It turns off everything. You come home at the end of the day, and when your partner goes to hug you, you're stiff. You're still in work mode. You can't feel the warmth, the connection, the love. And after enough times being rejected like that, your partner stops being a fan too. That's when the real distance starts.

Guy reveals something that changes everything: your partner probably didn't change at all. You did. And here's the breakthrough that makes this bearable to hear. You can change yourself back. Stop telling yourself your job is "very stressful" because that narrative reinforces the numbness and keeps you on constant alert. Even firefighters, who literally run into burning buildings, describe their jobs as "intermittently stressful" because they recognize the downtime. If they can reframe their reality, you can too. Find the moments between the stress. Prepare your favorite lunch. Listen to music that brings you joy. Crack jokes with coworkers. Create tiny pockets of feeling throughout your day. Lower the water level first, then reconnect with what you love. Your relationship isn't broken. You're just drowning, and you need to learn how to breathe again.

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