Agreeing to a Mediocre Relationship - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 468
Oct 10, 2023
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Jayson Gaddis, relationship expert, and Ellen Boeder, relationship coach, discuss the drawbacks of using complacency to avoid conflict in long-term relationships. They highlight how it doesn't solve underlying issues and the need to address emotional needs. They also explore the challenges faced by avoidant individuals and the importance of collaboration. Tune in to learn how to break free from the complacency trap and improve your relationship.
Ignoring relational needs to avoid conflict is not a sustainable long-term strategy.
Complacency in a relationship can lead to loneliness, unmet needs, and a lack of collaboration.
Deep dives
Recognizing the need for more than just sex in a relationship
In a conversation between Jason Gaddis and Ellen, they highlight the misconception that some men believe that sex once a week is enough to fulfill their needs in a relationship. They emphasize the importance of recognizing that relationships require more than just physical intimacy.
The drawbacks of complacency in a long-term partnership
The episode discusses a scenario where a couple agrees to an arrangement where they prioritize individual needs and put their relationship on hold. The hosts point out the potential problems that can arise from this approach, such as feelings of loneliness, unmet relational needs, and a lack of collaboration. They highlight the importance of actively developing and maintaining the connection even during stressful times.
The need for empathy, collaboration, and outside support in a relationship
The hosts suggest that couples in similar situations can take steps to address the issues they are facing. They encourage open communication and advocating for oneself and the relationship. Recognizing feelings of loneliness and the importance of relational support is crucial. They also emphasize the value of seeking outside help, such as counseling or coaching, to learn how to navigate challenges as a team.
Why do people get complacent in long-term relationships? Jayson and Ellen discuss a situation where a couple mutually decided to put their marriage on the back burner to avoid conflict. What are the drawbacks of using complacency as a coping mechanism? Is ignoring your relational needs in order to avoid conflict a sustainable long-term strategy? Tune in to learn how to break out of the complacency trap and get real with your partner today.
Timestamps:
2:22 - Using complacency to avoid conflict
5:30 - Is being complacent okay if it reduces conflict?
7:29 - The drawbacks of complacency as a conflict avoidance strategy
8:37 - When relationship feels like a demand instead of a gift