ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka

EP. 355: Heartbreak, Rejection, and ADHD: A Survival Guide (with Kiersten Lyons)

Oct 22, 2025

Kiersten Lyons, a talented writer and actress famous for her one-woman show 'Crushed,' shares her journey of navigating heartbreak and a late ADHD diagnosis. She discusses the challenges of rejection sensitivity in Hollywood, revealing how her experiences shaped her artistic endeavors. Kiersten emphasizes the importance of authenticity, grief, and self-acceptance, while providing valuable insights into the emotional toll of creative industries. Her memoir blends humor and healing, aiming to connect with others feeling 'too much' or 'not enough.'

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ANECDOTE

Wedding Confession That Sparked The Memoir

Kiersten's memoir opens with her fiancé saying he didn't love her while she tied wedding invitation bows and confessing he cheated.
Six months later he won $100,000 on reality TV and her life unraveled publicly, inspiring her book's heart.

INSIGHT

Late Diagnosis Reframes A Lifetime

Kiersten discovered her ADHD during her son's evaluation and felt immense relief at finally being seen.
Her diagnosis reframed decades of masking, emotional intensity, and pattern recognition into understandable traits.

ANECDOTE

Fifty States In Twenty Seconds

In fifth grade Kiersten memorized all 50 states in under 20 seconds and used it to try to impress boys.
She was always labeled 'too much' yet also became the reliable eldest daughter and high achiever.

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Kiersten Lyons spent most of her life being told she was too much. Too loud, too dramatic, too many feelings all at once. She was also told she wasn't enough. Not pretty enough, not the right fit, not what Hollywood was looking for. The dichotomy nearly broke her. But it also became the foundation of her story.

As a working actress in LA for over a decade, with recurring roles on Grey's Anatomy and Mad Men, Kiersten kept hearing the same feedback: "You're great, we just don't know what to do with you." So she created her own work, writing and starring in her award-winning one-woman show Crushed. It was supposed to become a TV series. Then the producer ghosted her.

At 42, while advocating for her son's ADHD evaluation, she finally got her own diagnosis and suddenly all those years of rejection, of being "too much" and "not enough," made sense. She understood why she could memorize all 50 states in under 20 seconds to impress boys (it didn't work), why she felt everything so intensely, and why masking had left her exhausted for decades.

Her debut memoir Crushed: The Boys That Never Liked Me Back opens with her fiancé confessing he didn't love her and had cheated at The Magic Castle while she was addressing their wedding invitations. Six months later, he won $100,000 on reality TV. Her life unraveled publicly, but the book isn't about revenge. It's about reclaiming yourself when everything falls apart.

In this conversation, Kiersten and Tracy explore pattern recognition, rejection sensitivity, and why so many creative women with ADHD end up in industries that require constant validation. They talk about the loneliness of being the eldest daughter who takes care of everyone, the grief of late diagnosis, and why acceptance, not positivity, is what allows us to heal.

Resources:

Website: https://www.kierstenlyons.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kierstenlyonsroar
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kier

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