Growing Up 'Too Much' and the Eldest-Daughter Role

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Kiersten Lyons spent most of her life being told she was too much. Too loud, too dramatic, too many feelings all at once. She was also told she wasn't enough. Not pretty enough, not the right fit, not what Hollywood was looking for. The dichotomy nearly broke her. But it also became the foundation of her story.

As a working actress in LA for over a decade, with recurring roles on Grey's Anatomy and Mad Men, Kiersten kept hearing the same feedback: "You're great, we just don't know what to do with you." So she created her own work, writing and starring in her award-winning one-woman show Crushed. It was supposed to become a TV series. Then the producer ghosted her. 

At 42, while advocating for her son's ADHD evaluation, she finally got her own diagnosis and suddenly all those years of rejection, of being "too much" and "not enough," made sense. She understood why she could memorize all 50 states in under 20 seconds to impress boys (it didn't work), why she felt everything so intensely, and why masking had left her exhausted for decades.

Her debut memoir Crushed: The Boys That Never Liked Me Back opens with her fiancé confessing he didn't love her and had cheated at The Magic Castle while she was addressing their wedding invitations. Six months later, he won $100,000 on reality TV. Her life unraveled publicly, but the book isn't about revenge. It's about reclaiming yourself when everything falls apart. 

In this conversation, Kiersten and Tracy explore pattern recognition, rejection sensitivity, and why so many creative women with ADHD end up in industries that require constant validation. They talk about the loneliness of being the eldest daughter who takes care of everyone, the grief of late diagnosis, and why acceptance, not positivity, is what allows us to heal.

Resources:

Website: https://www.kierstenlyons.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kierstenlyonsroar
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kier

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