Cam and Asher continue to explore important ADHD distinctions around basic needs as they delve into esteem needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy. Maslow argued that people have a need for appreciation and a recognition of their efforts. The specific ADHD distinction of self-compassion addresses the efforting aspect here and the universal question those of us with ADHD ask - Why do I not do what I know I ought to do? To live with ADHD is to live with this disconnect between a desired intention and the efforts and actions that support that intention. Bringing empathy and self-compassion to our efforts can mitigate the intense emotions (and emotional dysregulation) of the judgment of our inner critic and judgment from others. Doing so opens the door to curious exploration and creative solutions - key to the strength-based coaching model.
Ash shares an excellent client example around keeping a guest room clean enough to be ready for house guests. When the client brought self compassion to herself and the situation, it opened the door for Ash and his client to develop creative solutions and helped his client connect to a positive motivator for addressing this dilemma. The hosts leave listeners with some practical exercises to bring more self-compassion to their efforts and actions.
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