Translating ADHD

This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! Hosts Shelly and Cam explore green light planning this week. This is a very specific example where expectations can go awry. Green light planning is a fascinating phenomenon and is the result of several ADHD challenges. It is when we predict the most favored outcome for some future event like catching a plane with time to spare. Most people will point to challenges with time estimation. Look closer and you can see more going on here. Cam shares the example of a client trying to get to the airport and more often than not missing the departure. The client struggled with time estimation but also perpetuated a belief that he could better his best time. Furthermore, he failed to anticipate any potential delays or obstacles. Those of us with ADHD struggle to sense and anticipate variations of an outcome we create in our brain, especially the periods between events - the time between the shower, packing and eating breakfast. Specifically, this is a challenge with planning for transitions - both planned and unplanned. Emotionally we can engage in a mini ‘Zig Ziglar’ positive thinking exercise with the belief that our positive energy will somehow open an express lane to our destination. This is actually more of an emotional auto-pilot move to lock out unsavory thoughts if we are not successful in our plan. Shelly counters with her own example of ‘Red Light Planning’ and the idea of a time optimist or time pessimist. The hosts leave listeners with an exercise to have a different experience with green light planning. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! It’s really nice when a partner is supportive and understanding as you begin your own ADHD journey of discovery. But this is not always the case. This week Cam and Shelly discuss the not so uncommon scenario when we embark on our ADHD journey without the support of our primary relationship. Years of misinformation, fear and shame can build to where the non-ADHD partner throws up their hands and says “Enough!”. It's hard to play a game when everyone is playing Texas Hold’em and we are dealt a hand of Uno but this is the case often when we are struggling to understand our own ADHD experience and when we try to translate our experience to our partners. Frustration abounds! Once ADHD is identified as a primary factor in the challenges of a relationship it can sometimes be identified as the sole dilemma. This is never the case in any relationship, yet anger, frustration and resentment build to a point where the non-ADHD partner withdraws support and vulnerability often with an ultimatum of “fix your ADHD!”. Our partners are not immune from making their own meaning and years of undiagnosed ADHD behavior - the missed events, the forgotten tasks - can build to a convincing story of “They must not care about me”.  The hosts introduce their BEANS acronym with a focus on safety, needs and agreements. A partner can’t support if their sense of safety has eroded too much. The invisibility and inconsistency of ADHD can create a sense of uncertainty and lack of safety in the relationship. Cam and Shelly discuss ways to proceed to start to dismantle the parent/child dynamic that so often happens. Shelly discusses how detaching from outcome and distinguishing ‘my stuff, their stuff, our stuff’ can be a place to start when the ADHD partner has to proceed by themselves. Ultimately through effective communication and setting independent expectations, the partners can reintroduce safety and start to rebuild trust, but there may be a moment when in fact we have to push ahead and go it alone for a spell. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

Transitioning from negative to positive emotions, the hosts unlock the power of hope and curiosity in driving action. They discuss how those with ADHD often rely on fear and urgency, which can lead to stress. Introducing 'gateway' emotions, they show how fostering positivity can lead to gratitude and trust. A listener’s heartfelt letter underscores the importance of community support. The conversation emphasizes the balance of acknowledging both negative and positive feelings, paving the way for personal growth and empowerment.

Emotions are key to driving beliefs and behaviors. They also play a big part in effective ADHD management. Emotions also drive big signal responses like rejection, sensitivity or imposter syndrome. Those big signal responses can really impact our ability to identify and circumvent First Barrier dilemmas. The First Barrier of ADHD is the barrier to new awareness. Emotions like blame can cloud our judgment, disrupt our own agency and take us offline down some negative emotional rabbit holes (one of our Valley experiences). Shelly and Cam look closely at blame, one emotion they see often in their new clients, and the habit of ‘blame sponging’ or taking up all of the blame in some circumstance or situation. Emotion rarely operates alone. Black and white thinking and not seeing oneself in the picture contribute to a phenomenon of assuming all of the blame or rejecting it out of hand. Shelly and Cam share tools well known to long-time Translating ADHD listeners like curiosity and Pause Disrupt Pivot. Distinguishing our own stuff from others’ stuff and determining, through collaboration and communication, the ‘stuff in the middle’ gives us some traction with what once was a very slippery slope. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

Discover the emotional journey of grief that follows an ADHD diagnosis, balancing relief with new challenges. Explore how letting go of outdated coping strategies can spark ongoing feelings of loss. Delve into the transformative process of accepting one's neurodiversity while navigating a world that often expects neurotypical behavior. Hear powerful client stories that highlight the importance of community support in processing grief. Embrace curiosity and reflection as key tools for personal growth along this unique path.

This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! Have you ever found yourself believing that if you could just start with a "clean slate", things would be different? Today, Shelly and Cam ask our listeners to examine clean slate thinking. We look at the circumstances that compel us to want to start over and the appeal of a clean slate as an answer to complexity or overwhelm. We also dig into our own experiences to discuss the past damaging behaviors and patterns that each of us experienced in pursuit of a clean slate. Episode links + resources: Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more Translating ADHD: Visit our website: TranslatingADHD.com Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD

This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! Today, Cam and Shelly discuss a guiding philosophy that Shelly lives by in her own life and uses frequently with clients: Let It Be Easy. We discuss how we as adults with ADHD often get in our own way, over-complicating problems or approaching them from the wrong angle. We then give examples of how we and our clients have used this philosophy to find the "let it be easy" approach and how listeners can apply this philosophy to their own challenges. Episode links + resources: Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more Translating ADHD: Visit our website: TranslatingADHD.com Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD

Ash and Dusty dive into the challenges of getting proper support for ADHD, revealing how well-intentioned help often misses the mark. They share personal stories about the frustrations of misunderstood accommodations. The duo stresses the importance of clear communication and understanding personal needs. They also discuss the emotional toll of past negative experiences and the significance of advocating for oneself. With practical tips for effective interactions, they highlight that successful support comes from mutual understanding and ongoing dialogue.

Ash and Dusty dive into the challenges of moderation for those with ADHD, exploring impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. They share personal stories on managing behaviors like alcohol and internet use. The discussion includes practical strategies, like using apps to pause impulsive actions and gradually shifting habits for better memory and productivity. They emphasize the importance of small, sustainable changes over perfection and highlight that setbacks are just part of the journey towards healthier choices.

Forgetfulness is a major hurdle for those with ADHD, causing chaos in daily life. Simple, adaptable systems can drastically improve task management. Personal stories highlight practical tools like calendars and planners that foster awareness. The importance of building a solid foundation for long-term success is emphasized over quick fixes. Coaching strategies encourage patience, accountability, and incremental progress. This ongoing journey requires curiosity and the right support to thrive.