Greg Fuqua, a licensed mental health counselor and autism clinical specialist, joins to illuminate the dynamics of mixed neurotype relationships. They discuss creating positive feelings through understanding each partner’s history and emotional needs. The importance of reciprocity and maintenance in relationships is emphasized, along with strategies for small gestures that nurture connection. They also touch on the significance of adapting love languages and preparing for effective communication, fostering deeper bonds and appreciation.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Know Your Partner's Manual
Understand your partner's "owner's manual."
Learn their history, trauma, triggers, needs, and neurotype.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Reciprocity and Mutuality
Focus on reciprocity and mutuality in your relationship.
Strive for balance in meeting each other's needs.
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Daily Affection
Give affection daily, even if it's not your preferred style.
Attune to your partner's needs, not just your own.
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In this book, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which he calls 'love languages'. By learning these languages, individuals can discover their unique love languages and those of their loved ones, leading to deeper and richer levels of intimacy. The book includes practical steps and a love language assessment to help strengthen relationships. It emphasizes that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive it, and understanding these differences can improve communication and relationship satisfaction.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
John Gottman
Nan Silver
This book, written by John Gottman and Nan Silver, is based on Gottman's extensive research on couples and their relationships. It outlines seven principles that couples can follow to nurture their friendship, resolve conflicts effectively, and create a shared sense of meaning. The principles include enhancing 'love maps,' nurturing fondness and admiration, turning toward each other, letting each other influence, solving solvable problems, overcoming gridlock, and creating shared meaning. The book also warns against the 'Four Horsemen' of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, which can predict the demise of a marriage. Packed with exercises, questionnaires, and real-life examples, this guide helps couples improve their communication, intimacy, and overall relationship quality.
If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate called "Navigating Decisions and Choices in Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/ The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on Zoom on the 1st Wednesday of each month.
In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) you can click here
Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
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During this episode, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay talk about the different ways mixed neurotype couples can create more positive feelings for each other and how they can find ways to show more affection and appreciation in their relationship. The other topics discussed include:
Understanding your partners "owners manual", which includes their history, trauma, what they need for repair after conflict, their neurotype, love language, deficits, strengths, relational trauma and triggers.
The importance of reciprocity and mutuality.
Remembering that relationships require maintenance.
Engaging in small gestures that address each others needs and wants.
Preparation and negotiation are important in a mixed neurotype relationship.
When your "love tank" is empty it is very easy to have raw and hurtful experiences.
Understanding what leads to a culture of appreciation and reciprocity.
Healthy internalization rather then toxic externalization.
Talk about processes so both partners understand what happened.
Being romantic and vulnerable can feel "too much".
Alexythymia and love can create "short circuits".
Internalizing things can give very little space for interaction with your partner.
Being shamed for having intense feelings and how important it is to create safety in your relationship for sharing your feelings and emotions.
If you have positive thoughts about your partner...say it!
Own what's yours and understand your triggers.
Understand and take care of your hurt "parts" and wounds.
Take a pause when angry and start with an "I" statement and/or a statement of empathy.
If you would like to learn more about the support groups and other resources Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
If you would like to contact Greg, you can check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com
Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay 
