597 - Stop chasing unavailable people (w/ Matthew Hussey)
May 16, 2024
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Relationship expert Matthew Hussey discusses chasing unavailable partners, the truth about confidence, and a new perspective on self-love. The conversation explores personal growth in relationships, redefining self-love beyond external traits, and the importance of authenticity and individuality for success.
Relationships are a joint mission, not just about fleeting feelings.
Set standards based on internal clarity, not manipulative tactics.
Reframe self-love through unconditional acceptance and appreciation.
Prioritize emotional growth and authenticity in relationships.
Deep dives
Evolution of Perspective on Relationships
The podcast delves into Matthew Hussey's evolution in understanding relationships, emphasizing that relationships are a joint mission and vision rather than just about fleeting feelings. Matthew shares his personal growth journey, highlighting the shift from viewing relationships as solely based on emotions to recognizing the importance of self-awareness and compassion towards oneself and others.
Importance of Setting Personal Standards
Matthew Hussey discusses the distinction between standards and tactics in relationships, advocating for setting standards based on internal clarity rather than relying on manipulative tactics to achieve desired results. He stresses the significance of having core confidence rooted in a healthy relationship with oneself, highlighting the need to reframe self-love away from traits or accomplishments towards a more unconditional and nurturing self-acceptance approach.
Developing Core Confidence through Alternative Models of Self-Love
Matthew Hussey introduces alternative models of self-love, such as reimagining it through the lens of a parent's love for their child or a pet owner's sentiment towards their pet, aiming to shift the focus from external traits or comparisons to a fundamental acceptance and appreciation of oneself. He underlines the transformative power of core confidence in relationships, guiding listeners towards a more profound and authentic self-love approach.
Necessity of Nurturing Relationships
The podcast stresses the importance of nurturing relationships, whether with oneself or others, by moving beyond superficial tactics and embracing genuine standards based on internal clarity and authenticity. Matthew Hussey's insights encourage listeners to prioritize emotional growth and evolve through introspection, fostering deeper connections and healthier relationship dynamics.
Practical Application of Core Confidence
Matthew Hussey offers practical tools to cultivate core confidence, such as exploring self-love through the unconditional bond of a parent-child relationship or the undeniable connection a pet owner feels towards their pet. By reframing self-love towards innate acceptance and appreciation, individuals can enhance their emotional well-being and relationships with a stronger foundation of core confidence.
Importance of Self-Love and Personal Care
It emphasizes the importance of self-love and taking care of oneself as a fundamental aspect of leading a fulfilling life. The speaker highlights the significance of recognizing oneself as a person in the world, deserving of the same love and kindness as others. By viewing self-love as a duty to nurture and prioritize oneself, individuals can shift from seeking external validation to focusing on self-care as an essential approach.
Maintaining Individuality in Relationships
The podcast delves into the concept of individuality within relationships and its crucial role in maintaining personal happiness and strong connections. By prioritizing self-care and pursuing personal passions within relationships, individuals can prevent losing their sense of self and becoming disconnected from their own identity. Encouraging individuality not only enhances personal fulfillment but also strengthens relationships by fostering a sense of mystery and engagement that keeps partners connected and engaged.
In this episode, I talk with relationship expert and best-selling author Matthew Hussey about chasing unavailable people, the truth about confidence, and a new way to think about self love.
Get his book "Love Life" anywhere you get books.
My NEW journal, "The BOLD Journal" is available now on Amazon!
Instagram: @case.kenny
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