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Perform Annual Heart Check (Satirical)
- Check your heart annually using the station's absurd but explicit method as satire of invasive medical advice.
- The segment instructs removing ribs, cooking the heart, and eating it to ensure 'a healthy heart.'
Helicopter Ecology Reveals Normalized Surveillance
- Night Vale now tracks a taxonomy of helicopters by color and purpose, revealing normalized surveillance in town life.
- New yellow helicopters hover in packs and provoke official fear, signaling an unfamiliar but organized presence.
Quarterback Loses A Head, Team Loses Rhythm
- Coach Nazar Al-Mujahid described Michael Sanderro's offseason surgery removing one of his two heads and the resulting performance drop.
- The coach reacted emotionally, stretching his tongue out in a disturbing display during the interview.