The Science of Irresistible Conversations: Michael Bungay Stanier Shares his Secrets EP 1477

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Jul 31, 2023

Michael Bungay Stanier, author of bestselling books like The Coaching Habit and founder of the learning company Box of Crayons, shares his secrets to irresistible conversations. He emphasizes the power of asking meaningful questions and encourages genuine listening to foster deep connections. The discussion explores key personality traits of great collaborators and the role of body language in communication. Stanier also highlights the importance of conflict resolution and authentic relationships for personal and professional growth.

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INSIGHT

I-Thou vs. I-It Relationships

Prioritize I-Thou relationships, focusing on genuine human connection over transactional interactions.
I-Thou relationships foster deeper connections, seeing others' humanity, unlike I-It transactional exchanges.

ADVICE

Magnetic Questioning

Ask engaging questions and listen actively to the answers.
Avoid interrupting or one-upping; focus on understanding the other person's perspective.

ADVICE

Uncovering the Real Challenge

Ask "What's the real challenge here for you?" to uncover root problems.
This question helps shift the conversation to the person's internal challenges, fostering deeper understanding.

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The Coaching Habit

Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

Michael Bungay Stanier

In 'The Coaching Habit,' Michael Bungay Stanier provides a straightforward and effective approach to coaching. Drawing on his extensive experience training managers worldwide, he introduces seven essential coaching questions designed to help managers unlock their team's potential. These questions include the Kickstart Question, the AWE Question, the Lazy Question, the Strategic Question, the Focus Question, the Foundation Question, and the Learning Question. The book emphasizes the importance of saying less and asking more, fostering a collaborative and empowering work environment. It combines practical advice with research in neuroscience and behavioral economics, making coaching a daily, informal part of managerial work rather than a formal event.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

John Gottman

Nan Silver

This book, written by John Gottman and Nan Silver, is based on Gottman's extensive research on couples and their relationships. It outlines seven principles that couples can follow to nurture their friendship, resolve conflicts effectively, and create a shared sense of meaning. The principles include enhancing 'love maps,' nurturing fondness and admiration, turning toward each other, letting each other influence, solving solvable problems, overcoming gridlock, and creating shared meaning. The book also warns against the 'Four Horsemen' of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, which can predict the demise of a marriage. Packed with exercises, questionnaires, and real-life examples, this guide helps couples improve their communication, intimacy, and overall relationship quality.

How to Work with (Almost) Anyone

Michael Bungay-Stanier

Humble Leadership

The Power of Relationships, Openness, and Trust

Edgar Schein

Peter Schein

Humble Leadership by Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein introduces a new approach to leadership that focuses on building personal relationships rather than relying on transactional role relationships. This model encourages leaders to adopt humility, openness, and trust to create collaborative and innovative environments. The book explores how traditional hierarchical leadership is becoming outdated and how humble leadership can enhance organizational effectiveness through stronger interpersonal connections.