Back to Basics: Understanding All Things Attachment with Ann & Sue (209)
Jul 18, 2023
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Attachment basics are explored in this episode. Ann and Sue break down what attachment is, its impact on early development, and the importance of understanding attachment patterns. They discuss embodied stories, the protection system, and building secure attachment through curiosity. Topics include coherent narratives and recognizing patterns in nervous system behaviors.
Understanding our attachment styles can help us recognize our own protective systems and how they influence our relationships.
By understanding our attachment patterns, we can gain insight into our tendencies in relationships, such as seeking familiarity, pushing people away, or becoming overly independent.
Deep dives
Understanding Attachment and Its Impact on Relationships
Attachment is a fundamental aspect of our survival and social well-being as mammals. It involves the way we learn to connect and rely on our primary caregivers for safety and protection. Our attachment patterns develop early on and shape our behaviors and perceptions of ourselves and others. Understanding our attachment styles can help us recognize our own protective systems and how they influence our relationships. It allows us to be curious about our emotional responses, recognize patterns in our behavior, and work towards developing more secure and healthy connections with others.
Exploring Attachment: Not Just a Parenting Issue
Attachment is not limited to the parent-child relationship. It impacts how we relate to others in all aspects of our lives. Our attachment styles influence our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, communicate effectively, and regulate our emotions. By understanding our attachment patterns, we can gain insight into our tendencies in relationships, such as seeking familiarity, pushing people away, or becoming overly independent. This awareness helps us reflect on how our protective systems developed and how they may affect our current connections.
The Coherence of Attachment Narratives and Self Discovery
Developing a coherent narrative of our attachment experiences is essential for understanding ourselves and our relationships. It involves exploring our early learning, coping mechanisms, traumas, and beliefs about ourselves and others. A coherent narrative helps us recognize the impact of our attachment patterns on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It allows us to have greater agency in our relationships, fostering compassion, curiosity, and connection with both ourselves and others. Developing a coherent attachment narrative can shape our personal growth, improve our emotional well-being, and lead to more fulfilling relationships.
The Green Zone: Pursuing Connection and Security
In the green zone, we are in a state of security and connection with ourselves and others. This state is characterized by curiosity, wonderment, warmth, compassion, and openness. When we are in our connection system, we experience a neurochemical bath that makes us feel safe, open, and satisfied. The green zone buffers us from stress and allows us to respond more accurately to others' needs and emotions. By recognizing when we enter the green zone and learning to access it more frequently, we can enhance our overall well-being, foster healthy connections, and regulate our emotions effectively.