Drama addiction can stem from a fear of calm and stillness, and manifests through over-scheduling, exaggeration, and constant need for excitement.
Unprocessed trauma gets stored in the body and can lead to addictive behaviors, disconnection, and a craving for drama.
True intimacy and pleasure in sex involve embodying the experience without overthinking, focusing on connection, and engaging in aftercare to overcome addictive patterns.
Deep dives
The Importance of Emotional Intimacy in Sex
In this podcast episode, Dr. Emily discusses the importance of emotional intimacy in sex. She explains that sometimes intense and sensational sex can be mistaken for deep pleasure, but true intimacy goes beyond that. Dr. Emily is joined by Dr. Scott Lyons, who talks about how some people can be addicted to drama and chaos in their relationships. They explore the concept of trauma and how it affects our bodies and behavior. The episode also touches on vanilla versus kinky sex, overcoming jealousy, and the role of boredom in relationships.
Recognizing Drama Addiction and Seeking Security
Dr. Scott Lyons discusses the concept of addiction to drama and its impact on relationships. He emphasizes the need to acknowledge our own reliance on drama rather than just recognizing it in others. Drama addiction can manifest as over-scheduling, exaggeration, sensitivity, and a constant need for excitement. Dr. Lyons explains that drama addiction stems from a misperception of safety and a fear of calm and stillness. He suggests normalizing boredom and exploring safer ways to feel alive and connected.
Overcoming Trauma and Reconnecting with the Body
The podcast delves into the topic of trauma and its effects on our bodies and relationships. Dr. Lyons explains that trauma is not about the event itself, but about how our bodies process and metabolize the experience. Unprocessed trauma gets stored in our bodies and can manifest as addictive behaviors, drama-seeking, and disconnection. The episode highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing trauma to find healing and intimacy. It also stresses the need to reestablish safety and connection with our bodies to overcome triggers and engage in more fulfilling sexual experiences.
The Impact of Trauma on Relationships
Trauma can lead to disconnection and self-abandonment, causing individuals to fill the void with addictive behaviors and dependencies. Recognizing and staying present in the body can help overcome this pattern. By taking radical responsibility for one's emotions and repairing the disconnect, individuals can foster a sense of safety and repair their relationships. Trauma often pulls us out of the present, leading to a lack of agency and control in our lives. Addicted drama replicates this lack of control and can be seen as a way to seek connection and combat feelings of isolation and loneliness.
How Addiction to Drama Affects Sexual Pleasure
Addiction to drama can interfere with true intimacy and pleasure, as heightened and sensational experiences are often mistaken for deep connection. True pleasure in sex involves embodying the experience without overthinking and creating a genuine energetic and physical alignment. Engaging in rough or intense sex can be fulfilling, but it is essential to build up to it gradually and ensure that there is a sense of connection and bonding during and after the experience. Permission to pause, focus on connection, and engage in aftercare can enhance sexual pleasure and overcome addictive patterns.
([TW // mentions su*c*de] If you would like to skip this portion of the episode, please skip through 47:00-48:00.) Do you (or your partner) start fights over nothing? Do stable relationships feel unsettling? Today, holistic psychologist, podcast host, and author Dr. Scott Lyons shows us how some of us may be more addicted to drama than we think. From attachment styles to toxic partners, Dr. Lyons explains how unresolved trauma can show up in ourselves and our relationships. We also talk about the desire to have rough sex, why makeup sex feels so good, how trauma lives in our bodies, and so much more.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How to work through jealousy in relationships
How addiction to drama affects our sexual pleasure
How to identify and sit with uncomfortable emotions
