I'm Busy Being Awesome Episode 329: ADHD People Pleasing Holiday Edition: Why We Say Yes to Everything (+ How to Stop)
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Nov 17, 2025 Dive into the complexities of holiday people-pleasing, especially for those with ADHD. Discover the emotional triggers and impulsive yeses that create anticipatory dread with every invitation. Explore rejection sensitivity and how it fuels the need to please others. Learn about a people-pleasing inventory to recognize patterns and understand your emotions. This insightful discussion reframes people-pleasing as a survival strategy, offering a nonjudgmental approach to breaking the cycle.
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Automatic Yeses Are A Survival Strategy
- Paula explains holiday invites often trigger automatic yeses because the thought of disappointing others feels worse than expected burnout.
- This people-pleasing is not a moral failing but a learned survival response, especially for ADHD brains.
Rejection Sensitivity Drives People-Pleasing
- Paula links people-pleasing to rejection sensitivity, which magnifies perceived slights into intense emotional pain.
- Many with ADHD use constant helpfulness as a shield against potential rejection.
Impulsivity Creates The Automatic Yes
- Paula identifies impulsivity as a core ADHD trait that creates instant verbal reflexes to say yes.
- Those snap yeses bypass planning and later produce schedules that guarantee burnout.