Authors Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp provide guidance to Todd, a man with multiple sclerosis, on navigating dating with a disability. They discuss disclosing disabilities, dealing with ableism, and managing expectations in the dating world.
Read more
AI Summary
AI Chapters
Episode notes
auto_awesome
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
Disclosing disabilities early builds trust in relationships.
Balancing disclosure timing in dating is challenging for disabled individuals.
Recognizing ableism in dating fosters understanding and compassion.
Deep dives
Chronic Disease: Multiple Sclerosis and its Unpredictable Nature
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a chronic disease where the immune system attacks itself, leading to varying symptoms that can range from invisible to using mobility devices like canes. Todd, a listener with MS, faces challenges in dating due to the changing visibility of his symptoms over time.
Dating Apps Dilemma: Disclosing Disability
Todd grapples with when and how to disclose his MS on dating apps. Past experiences include waiting until later stages of dating, affecting intimate moments, or upfront profile mentions. Balancing disclosure timing remains a struggle to find the right approach that avoids surprises but also fosters genuine connections.
Disabled Person Dating Dynamics
Disabled people like Todd navigate dating dynamics distinctly, facing external perceptions and self-acceptance challenges. The book 'Dateable' by Caroline Kup and Jessica Slice sheds light on the creative, non-traditional aspects of disabled people's sexual and romantic lives, showcasing vulnerabilities, strengths, and misconceptions.
Ableism and Intimacy: Breaking Stereotypes
The concept of ableism influences dating dynamics, where stereotypes and internalized expectations clash with the reality of disabled individuals' lives. Recognizing mutual caregiving, overcoming societal constructs, and embracing vulnerabilities can reshape relationships, emphasizing the value of understanding, compassion, and growth.
Overview of Disability in Dating: Embracing Complexity and Understanding
Navigating the complexities of disability in dating involves challenging societal norms and self-perceptions. Disabled individuals like Todd face internal struggles, societal biases, and relationship dynamics, highlighting the need for openness, understanding, and evolving perspectives to cultivate meaningful connections and inclusive relationships.
Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. With symptoms that are increasingly visible, Todd feels compelled to be upfront about his disability with potential dates—but he doesn’t know when or how to discuss it. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled. They give Todd guidance on having that talk, navigating ableism, and managing his own internal expectations.
Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.
How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae.
Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.