In this riveting discussion, David Brooks, a New York Times columnist and author, unpacks the recent essay, "How America Got Mean." He explores the decline of kindness and community amidst political polarization and the rise of individualism. Brooks illustrates how capitalism has turned connections into transactions, impacting moral values and social bonds. He emphasizes the role of social media in fostering loneliness and advocates for rekindling empathy and moral education to navigate the fragmented landscape of modern America.
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insights INSIGHT
Sadness and Meanness in America
Americans are becoming increasingly sad and mean, marked by rising rates of depression, loneliness, and distrust.
This societal shift is primarily a moral issue stemming from a decline in moral formation and a lack of emphasis on teaching kindness and consideration.
insights INSIGHT
Shifting Focus of Education
America's founders prioritized moral education through various institutions, recognizing the importance of character development for a functioning democracy.
This emphasis shifted post-World War II with the rise of positive psychology, which focused on self-actualization rather than moral formation.
question_answer ANECDOTE
The Unheard and Unseen
Psychologist Dan McAdams's research reveals that many people feel unheard and unseen, as evidenced by their emotional responses to finally sharing their life stories.
Many individuals have never been asked about their experiences, highlighting a societal lack of genuine curiosity and deep listening.
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In 'The Road to Character,' David Brooks delves into the lives of some of the world’s greatest thinkers and leaders to illustrate how they built strong inner characters. The book contrasts 'résumé virtues' (external achievements) with 'eulogy virtues' (internal character strengths like kindness, bravery, and honesty). Brooks examines figures such as Frances Perkins, Dwight Eisenhower, Dorothy Day, and others, highlighting their personal struggles and the virtues they developed. He argues that modern society often prioritizes external success over internal character, and he provides practical advice on how to rebalance these aspects of life. The book is a call to rethink priorities and strive for a life marked by humility, moral depth, and meaningful relationships[2][4][5].
The Body Keeps the Score
Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk
In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery. The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment. It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field[1][2][5].
How to Change
The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
Katy Milkman
In this ground-breaking book, Katy Milkman reveals a proven path to help readers move from where they are to where they want to be. Drawing on her original research and the work of her world-renowned scientific collaborators, Milkman shares strategic methods for identifying and overcoming common barriers to change, such as impulsivity, procrastination, and forgetfulness. The book offers innovative approaches like 'temptation bundling,' using timely reminders, and creating 'set-it-and-forget-it systems' to make change more achievable. It emphasizes the importance of tailoring solutions to specific roadblocks and using science to stack the deck in favor of successful change.
The social animal
the hidden sources of love, character, and achievement
David Brooks
The Social Animal is a moving intellectual adventure that delves into the hidden sources of love, character, and achievement. Through the lives of Harold and Erica, a composite American couple, David Brooks illustrates a fundamental new understanding of human nature. The book draws on a wealth of current research from various disciplines to show that the unconscious mind is a creative and dominant force in our lives, shaping our character and influencing our most important life decisions. Brooks critiques modern culture's emphasis on rationalism, individualism, and IQ, and argues for a culture based on trust and humility. The narrative spans from infancy to old age, highlighting the deeply social aspect of our minds and the importance of human connection and community[1][4][5].
How to Know a Person
The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
David Brooks
David Brooks's "How to Know a Person" delves into the complexities of human relationships, exploring how we perceive and understand others. The book emphasizes the importance of empathy, active listening, and self-awareness in building meaningful connections. Brooks challenges readers to move beyond superficial judgments and embrace a deeper understanding of themselves and those around them. He argues that true connection requires vulnerability and a willingness to be seen authentically. Ultimately, the book offers a practical guide to fostering richer, more fulfilling relationships.
Sean Illing and David Brooks talk about Brooks’s recent essay, “How America Got Mean.” They discuss the country's moral history, how politics and culture have shifted our perception of connection and community, and what can be done to make things nicer.
Host: Sean Illing (@seanilling), host, The Gray Area
Guest: David Brooks (@nytdavidbrooks), author and op-ed columnist
The Gray Area with Sean Illing 
