059 - The Illusion Of Control - Michael And Sarah Bennett

Sep 23, 2015

Michael Bennett, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist with three decades of experience, teams up with his daughter Sarah, a comedy writer, to discuss the pivotal theme of their book, "Fuck Feelings." They explore the illusion of control and how people often misjudge their ability to influence life events, leading to anxiety and missed opportunities. The conversation delves into the ineffectiveness of traditional therapy approaches, urging listeners to embrace personal limitations and focus on emotional responses. Humor and insightful anecdotes make this enlightening discussion both engaging and relatable.

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INSIGHT

Illusion of Control Preserves Hope

Humans overestimate control, even in random events.
The illusion of control helps maintain hope and motivation despite reality.

ADVICE

Accept Limits and Strategize

Accept limits on your personality and control.
Develop strategies around managing what you can't change for better self-pride.

INSIGHT

Procrastination as Adaptation

Procrastination is often an innate trait, not laziness.
Understanding biological limits helps create effective self-management strategies.

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In the show, you'll hear Michael elaborate on why that is. In this episode, our guests are Harvard-trained psychiatrist Michael I. Bennett and his comedy writer daughter Sarah Bennett whose new book, Fuck Feelings, makes the case for accepting the illusion of control as a guiding principle for living a better life.

Time and again, study after study, psychologists have found that in situations in which the outcomes are clearly, undoubtable random or otherwise outside the realm of control, people tend to latch onto any shred of evidence that could be interpreted otherwise. It's a habit that can lead to self-loathing, ineffectual strategies for change, and lives filled with missed opportunities and squandered productivity.

As the Bennetts explain in the book, most people seek a therapist in an effort to actively deny that they don't have any control over their emotions. Stuck in a neurotic, fruitless loop, people begin to wonder why they can't achieve perpetual happiness or erase their proclivity to procrastinate. If they could just fix the things they see as broken, they could then become the people they've always wanted to be and finally begin their lives.

But just how much control do you really have over your feelings or your essential nature? According to the Bennetts, much less than you would like to believe. Your efforts are better spent elsewhere.

In this episode, listen as Michael and Sarah explain what you should be doing instead, and why they say - "Fuck feelings."

After the interview, I discuss a news story about how people can be fooled into believing a meal is delicious when told a master chef cooked the meal.

In every episode, after I read a bit of self delusion news, I taste a cookie baked from a recipe sent in by a listener/reader. That listener/reader wins a signed copy of my new book, “You Are Now Less Dumb,” and I post the recipe on the YANSS Pinterest page. This episode’s winner is Tiffany R Carrell who submitted a recipe for buttermilk cookies. Send your own recipes to david {at} youarenotsosmart.com.

Patreon: http://patreon.com/youarenotsosmart