713: How to Grow From Feedback, with Jennifer Garvey Berger
Dec 16, 2024
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Jennifer Garvey Berger, co-founder and CEO of Cultivating Leadership, dives into the transformative power of feedback in this engaging discussion. She emphasizes that feedback is not just a one-way street but a valuable opportunity for shared learning. By dissecting our reactions and inviting others' perspectives, leaders can unlock deeper insights and growth. Berger also shares strategies for effective feedback conversations, promoting collaboration and curiosity to enhance team dynamics and personal development. A must-listen for aspiring leaders!
Feedback should be seen as a collaborative learning opportunity, encouraging mutual growth rather than a one-sided critique.
Distinguishing between the objective events and personal interpretations fosters better understanding and opens paths for constructive dialogue.
Deep dives
Reframing Feedback as a Learning Tool
Feedback should be viewed as a two-way learning process rather than a one-sided delivery of information. This shift in perspective emphasizes the importance of recognizing the recipient's experience and insights. When feedback is treated as merely something given by a leader to a subordinate, it misses the broader opportunity for mutual growth and understanding. The core idea is that effective feedback should serve as a mechanism for collective learning within a system, fostering a robust exchange between both parties.
Separating Data from Interpretation
One key step in managing feedback effectively is to distinguish between the raw data of an incident and the personal narratives we construct around it. This separation helps individuals recognize that often their emotional reactions stem from their interpretations rather than the objective realities of what happened. By asking themselves what story they are telling about a situation, they can differentiate between genuine events and the meanings they've attached to them. This approach not only clarifies misunderstandings but also creates space for more constructive dialogues.
Curiosity as a Source of Insight
Curiosity about our emotional reactions is crucial for self-understanding and personal growth. When individuals experience strong feelings, such as anger or offense, it is essential to explore the underlying triggers and motivations behind those emotions. This self-examination encourages individuals to consider how their personal experiences contribute to their reactions, rather than solely attributing blame to others. Engaging in this reflective practice allows for a deeper understanding of oneself and improves relationships by fostering more empathetic communications.
Collaborative Problem Solving
Building solutions collaboratively is pivotal in ensuring effective feedback is not just a directive but a joint effort. Rather than solely placing the responsibility on one party to change their behavior, involving both individuals in a conversation encourages shared ownership of the situation. This approach leads to discovering comprehensive solutions based on the insights gathered during the feedback dialogue. By actively participating in the solution-building process, both parties are more likely to feel invested and committed to the changes implemented.
Jennifer Garvey Berger is cofounder and CEO of Cultivating Leadership, a consultancy that serves executives and teams in the private, non-profit, and government sectors. Her clients include Google, Microsoft, Novartis, Wikipedia, and Oxfam International. She is the author of four leadership books, including now in it’s second edition, Changing on the Job: How Leaders Become Courageous, Wise, and Steady in an Anxious World*.
We often think about feedback as something we give to someone else. What if, in addition to that, feedback is an opportunity for both parties to learn and grow. In this conversation, Jennifer and I explore how this can open a door to some of the best leadership work we do.
Key Points
If we view feedback as only giving our truth to someone else, we’ve missed a huge opportunity for growth.
Start by separating what happened from the interpretation of what happened.
Get curious about your own response: what made you react so strongly?
Talk it out. You have to welcome someone else into your thinking if you’re going to really learn.
Invite in how the other person sees the situation. Consider saying, “I’m really interested in what this looked like from your perspective.”
The process of unwinding what you hear is the good work of leadership and some the best work you can do.