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Relationship School Podcast

Common Misconceptions About Secure Attachment - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 478

Dec 19, 2023
Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder debunk common misconceptions about secure attachment in romantic relationships. They discuss differentiating between infatuation and secure attachment, the timeframe for developing secure attachment, and the challenges faced during the early stages of a divorced couple's relationship. Additionally, they emphasize the importance of personalized relationships and finding a partner who wants the same type of relationship. The podcast also explores the principles of secure functioning relationships, the significance of sensitivity and collaboration, and the role of creativity in maintaining a secure attachment.
26:39

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Quick takeaways

  • Secure attachment takes time and involves working through conflict and challenges.
  • Aligning relationship expectations and co-creating a form that works for both partners is crucial for secure attachment.

Deep dives

Misconceptions About Secure Attachment

In this podcast episode, the speaker discusses common misconceptions about secure attachment in relationships. He shares an example of a friend who believed he was in a securely attached relationship after just six months, but the speaker explains that the honeymoon stage and infatuation often get confused with secure attachment. The speaker emphasizes that true secure attachment takes time and involves working through conflict and challenges. He explains that attachment systems come online after the honeymoon stage, and it requires building a foundation of trust and effective conflict resolution to earn a securely attached adult relationship.

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