We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson The Lessons That Stuck With Me... We’re Talking Best Advice for 2026
Jan 8, 2026
The Gottmans, renowned relationship researchers, offer insights on managing conflict through their 'flooding' concept and the importance of taking breaks during arguments. Clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Smith introduces her 'cups' metaphor, helping listeners balance self-care and avoid burnout. They also share poignant letters about love and vulnerability from Tyler West and Scott Galloway, prompting reflections on emotional connection and fatherhood. This engaging discussion reveals small actionable shifts for nurturing relationships in 2026.
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Flooding Undermines Reasoning
- Flooding (fight-or-flight) reduces blood flow to the prefrontal cortex and impairs listening and decision-making.
- Repeating yourself loudly and thinking you're more persuasive are signals you are flooded.
Pause Arguments With A Timed Cooldown
- When you sense argument 'flooding', ask to take a break and state when you'll return to the discussion.
- Do something that fully distracts you for at least 20–30 minutes so stress hormones can subside before returning.
Set Clear Boundaries For Break Length
- Don't return from a break without agreeing a time; the minimum break should be 20–30 minutes and maximum 24 hours.
- If you're still aroused, ask for more time before reconvening the conversation.