Point of Relation with Thomas Huebl

Dr. Terry Real | Healing Intergenerational Trauma Through Our Relationships

Apr 29, 2025
In this discussion, Dr. Terry Real, an acclaimed family therapist and founder of The Relational Life Institute, dives deep into intergenerational trauma and its impact on family dynamics. He emphasizes the importance of 'Relational Mindfulness' to break the cycle of negative patterns and encourages a shift from individualism to collaboration. Through personal anecdotes, Terry illustrates how vulnerability fosters healing, advocating for awareness and intentionality in relationships. His insights empower listeners to confront emotional triggers as opportunities for growth.
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INSIGHT

Teaching Illuminates The Edge

  • Terry Real prefers teaching live experiential couples work because it accelerates transformation and learning.
  • He says he now finds the space between people instead of 'cutting', reflecting softer, wiser presence.
ADVICE

Use Relational Mindfulness

  • When triggered, pause and choose a mature part of yourself instead of the knee-jerk reaction.
  • Use relational mindfulness: breathe, step back, and return with intention to change the dynamic.
INSIGHT

Adaptive Patterns Hide The Wound

  • Childhood wounds become adaptive patterns like fight, flight, or fix in adult relationships.
  • Those adaptations feel intelligent then but are maladaptive now and shut down the prefrontal cortex during conflict.
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