The Love Expert: Why Women Are Addicted To F**k Boys & Why You Should "Have A 'Boring' Relationship Instead!" Logan Ury

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Oct 26, 2023

Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and dating coach at Hinge, discusses the science behind romance and why many are drawn to 'f**k boys.' She emphasizes the importance of recognizing attachment styles and suggests that securely attached individuals might appear boring but are actually the heroes of the dating world. Logan dives into concepts like the negativity bias in dating and the 'secretary problem' for decision-making in relationships. She also explores the rise of sober dating among Gen Z and how vulnerability can deepen emotional connections.

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ADVICE

Phone Hygiene on Dates

Practice good phone hygiene on dates: put devices away for deeper connection.
MIT research shows phones, even when off, hinder deep conversations.

ADVICE

Share Stories, Not Facts

Share stories, not just facts, on dates to create vulnerability and connection.
Vulnerability attracts; perfection repels because it lacks relatability.

INSIGHT

Vulnerability vs. Perfection

People with low self-esteem may overcompensate with perfection, hindering connection.
Vulnerability, not perfection, fosters intimacy in relationships.

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Are we our own worst enemies when it comes to romance? What if instead, we dated like a scientist, using equations and analysis, rather than feelings and attraction to find love.

In this new episode Steven sits down with dating coach and behavioural scientist, Logan Ury.

Logan is a behavioural expert, dating coach and Director of Relationship Science at the dating app, Hinge. She is also the author of the book, ‘How To Not Die Alone’, which outlines the scientific theories she uses with her clients to help them find love.

In this conversation Logan and Steven discuss topics, such as:

Why Logan is a dating coach and her work with Hinge
How she helps people get out of their own way and find their dating blindspots
The ways that modern dating is very new for history
Researching the dating habits of Gen Z
Hiring a dating coach for herself
How Logan found her husband at work
Attachment theory and its importance for dating
How you can change your attachment style
The negativity bias and how our brain runs on ancient software
Why you should go for a securely attached person who may seem boring
The reasons that securely attached people are the heroes of the dating world
Why people are so addicted to f**k boys
The importance of taking a break during a fight
Understanding our dating patterns and how we can change them
The secretary problem and the maths of when to stop looking and choose someone
Digital Body Language and how it impacts dating
Why people confuse ‘ick’s’ for dealbreakers
Why you should overcome your ‘ick’s’
The 3 most common dating tendencies and unrealistic expectations
Why the dating environment is so important
How to date like a scientist
Why you shouldn't try to be perfect on a date
Vulnerability as a magnet for connection
The post date 8 checklist
Why you should ignore the spark and focus on the slow burn
What things matter less than people think for relationships and what do they underestimate
Why you need to be able to fight well in a relationship
The tips and tricks to a dating profile
why vulnerability is strength
The difference between a maximiser and a satisfier
Logan’s husbands cancer
Living on a commune

You can find out which of the 3 dating tendencies you are with Logan’s quiz, here: https://bit.ly/491O3lj

You can purchase Logan’s book, ‘How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love’, here: https://amzn.to/476uvdV