Hidden Brain Escaping Perfectionism
Sep 1, 2025
Psychologist Thomas Curran and sociologist Alison Pugh dive deep into the complexities of perfectionism. Curran discusses how the drive for perfection can lead to anxiety and depression, especially in youth, challenging the notion that higher standards always equal success. Pugh emphasizes the importance of 'connective labor'—the simple yet profound act of making others feel seen. Together, they unpack the societal pressures stemming from social media, the emotional toll of striving for unattainable ideals, and the pathway towards embracing our imperfections.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Early Shame Fueled Relentless Striving
- Thomas Curran grew up materially deprived and felt shame comparing himself to wealthier peers.
- That childhood shame became a lifelong driver to 'buy' status and prove his worth through achievement.
Performing Perfection Onstage
- Curran overprepared talks to avoid showing weakness and would visibly signal long work hours.
- Even after success he ruminated that his TED talk felt polite but not show-stopping, increasing self-doubt.
Perfectionism Is A Deficit Orientation
- Curran defines perfectionism as striving from a place of lack, not mere high standards.
- Perfectionism is driven by needing validation to soothe feelings of inferiority rather than pursuing success itself.
