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A child psychologist’s guide to working with difficult adults | Dr. Becky Kennedy

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Feb 1, 2026

Guest

Becky Kennedy

Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, shares how parenting principles map to leadership. She explores repair over perfection, connecting before correcting, the Most Generous Interpretation, setting clear boundaries, and what “sturdy” leadership looks like. Short, practical ideas and surprising parallels between raising resilient kids and leading resilient teams.

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Episode notes

00:00 / 00:00

Repair Over Perfection

Repair, not perfection, defines secure relationships because adults who repair re-establish trust after mistakes.
Becky Kennedy says repair is the single most powerful relationship strategy for families and teams.

00:00 / 00:00

Connect Before You Correct

Connect before you correct: join someone's reality without agenda for 30 seconds before asking for something.
Use small presence acts (sit, touch, ask about their weekend) to create cooperation at work and home.

00:00 / 00:00

Separate Behavior From Identity

'Good inside' separates identity from behavior so feedback targets changeable actions, not worthiness.
Starting conversations by asserting "we're on the same team" reduces defensiveness and improves outcomes.

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Good Inside principles apply to workplaces

05:18 • 3min

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The power of repair in relationships

08:43 • 2min

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Connect before correcting to build cooperation

11:05 • 5min

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Practical ways to connect daily

16:04 • 1min

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Separating behavior from identity: 'Good Inside'

17:30 • 4min

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Most Generous Interpretation (MGI)

22:00 • 4min

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Curiosity over judgment to improve culture

25:48 • 2min

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Behavior = feelings overpowering skills

27:20 • 4min

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Potty learning as teaching skills, not training

31:08 • 1min

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Naming intention and reducing control conflicts

32:15 • 3min

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Sturdy leadership: contain emotion, hold direction

35:42 • 5min

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Boundaries vs requests: how to set limits

Being the leader people need, not consensus seeker

46:49 • 6min

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When adults need a grown-up to save them

52:44 • 4min

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Resilience over happiness as a guiding principle

57:03 • 6min

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I believe you, and I believe in you

01:02:42 • 7min

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Good Inside product & community overview

01:09:12 • 7min

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How Becky uses AI and product-building surprises

01:16:26 • 9min

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Practical tip: ask for parenting feedback

01:24:56 • 2min

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Lightning round: books, shows, products, motto

Leave Me Alone! is a delightful picture book in the Side by Side series by Ann de Bode, designed for young readers aged 3 to 8. Through engaging illustrations and simple storytelling, it explores themes of privacy and independence in a fun, relatable way for kids.

#1484

• Mentioned in 26 episodes

The messy middle

Scot Belsky

In 'The Messy Middle,' Scott Belsky delves into the often-overlooked middle phase of projects and ventures, where the initial excitement has worn off and the final success is still uncertain. The book is filled with practical insights, anecdotes, and actionable takeaways from Belsky's own experiences as an entrepreneur and investor. It covers topics such as managing uncertainty, powering through challenges, and making strategic decisions to ensure the success of any bold endeavor.

#789

• Mentioned in 41 episodes

The Power of Moments

Chip Heath

Dan Heath

In this book, Chip and Dan Heath explore why certain brief experiences can have a profound impact on our lives. They argue that our most memorable positive moments are dominated by four elements: elevation, insight, pride, and connection. The authors provide practical advice and numerous examples on how to engineer these moments, whether in professional settings, educational environments, or personal life. The book delves into the psychology behind why we remember certain experiences and how we can intentionally create more meaningful moments rather than leaving them to chance.

#207

• Mentioned in 103 episodes

Creativity, Inc.

Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration

Amy Wallace

Ed Catmull

Ed Catmull and Edwin E. Catmull and Amy Wallace

In this book, Ed Catmull shares insights on how to build and maintain a creative culture within an organization. Drawing from his experiences at Pixar, Catmull discusses the importance of open communication, risk-taking, and protecting the creative process. The book includes candid discussions, anecdotes about Pixar's film development, and lessons on managing innovation and creativity. It emphasizes the need for a nurturing work environment and the importance of storytelling in business.

#83

• Mentioned in 188 episodes

Radical Candor

Be a Kick-ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity

Kim Scott

Radical Candor by Kim Scott offers a practical approach to management by emphasizing the importance of caring personally and challenging directly. The book argues that effective managers must find a balance between being empathetic and providing clear, honest feedback. Scott draws from her experiences at Google and Apple to provide actionable lessons on building strong relationships, giving feedback, and creating a collaborative work environment. The book introduces the concept of 'radical candor' as the sweet spot between obnoxious aggression and ruinous empathy, and provides tools and strategies for managers to implement this approach in their daily work.

#139

• Mentioned in 135 episodes

Good Inside

A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Becky Kennedy

In 'Good Inside,' Dr. Becky Kennedy shares her parenting philosophy, which focuses on building strong relationships with children rather than merely shaping their behavior. The book critiques traditional parenting methods like reward charts and time-outs, which fail to address children's complex emotional needs. Dr. Kennedy provides actionable strategies and troubleshooting for various parenting challenges, such as sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, and tantrums. Her approach helps parents move from uncertainty and self-blame to confidence and sturdy leadership, emphasizing the importance of compassion and understanding in parenting.

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, the bestselling author of Good Inside, and the founder of a parenting platform used by millions. Known for her practical, psychology-based approach to parenting, Dr. Becky shares how the same principles that help parents raise resilient children can make you a much more effective leader. In this conversation, she breaks down why all human systems—whether families or companies—operate on the same fundamental principles, and how understanding these dynamics can make you more effective in every relationship.

We discuss:

1. Why repair—not perfection—defines strong leadership

2. Why you need to connect before you correct to build cooperation and trust

3. The “most generous interpretation” framework for handling difficult behaviors

4. How to correctly set boundaries (vs. making requests)

5. The power of “I believe you, and I believe in you”

6. What it looks like to be a “sturdy” leader

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Episode transcript: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/dr-becky-on-the-surprising-overlap

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Archive of all Lenny's Podcast transcripts: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/yxi4s2w998p1gvtpu4193/AMdNPR8AOw0lMklwtnC0TrQ?rlkey=j06x0nipoti519e0xgm23zsn9&st=ahz0fj11&dl=0

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Where to find Dr. Becky Kennedy:

• X: https://x.com/GoodInside

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbecky

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbeckyatgoodinside

• Website: https://www.goodinside.com

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Where to find Lenny:

• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com

• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/

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In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Introduction to Dr. Becky Kennedy

(05:14) Connecting parenting and leadership

(08:40) The power of repair

(11:05) Connecting before correcting

(17:45) Good Inside framework at work

(22:08) The most generous interpretation (MGI)

(25:46) Curiosity over judgment

(27:07) Understanding behavior change

(31:08) What potty training can teach us about workplace behavior

(34:40) Naming your intention

(35:41) Sturdy leadership

(40:52) How to set boundaries well

(46:33) The role of leadership and consensus

(50:50) The importance of being “locatable”

(52:40) A powerful story of betrayal and realization

(57:12) Building resilience over happiness

(01:00:34) The power of the phrase “I believe you, and I believe in you.”

(01:09:08) The Good Inside community and resources

(01:16:22) AI corner

(01:19:52) Good Inside’s mission

(01:22:26) Lightning round and final thoughts

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Referenced:

• Shreyas Doshi on pre-mortems, the LNO framework, the three levels of product work, why most execution problems are strategy problems, and ROI vs. opportunity cost thinking: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/episode-3-shreyas-doshi

• Radical Candor: From theory to practice with author Kim Scott: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/radical-candor-from-theory-to-practice

• From ChatGPT to Instagram to Uber: The quiet architect behind the world’s most popular products | Peter Deng: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/the-quiet-architect-peter-deng

• Punch: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_(play)

• Figma: https://www.figma.com

• Andrew Hogan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ahhogan

• Replit: https://replit.com

• Behind the product: Replit | Amjad Masad (co-founder and CEO): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/behind-the-product-replit-amjad-masad

• Lovable: https://lovable.dev

• Building Lovable: $10M ARR in 60 days with 15 people | Anton Osika (co-founder and CEO): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/building-lovable-anton-osika

• Claude: https://claude.ai

• ChatGPT: https://chatgpt.com

• Secrets We Keep on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81697668

• K Pop Demon Hunters on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81498621

• Liberty puzzles: https://libertypuzzles.com

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Recommended books:

• Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Candor-Revised-Kick-Ass-Humanity/dp/1250235375

• Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Resilient Parenting Prioritizing Connection Over Correction: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Inside-Guide-Becoming-Parent/dp/0063159481

• Leave Me Alone!: A Good Inside Story About Deeply Feeling Kids: https://www.amazon.com/Leave-Me-Alone-Inside-Feeling/dp/1250413117

• The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Moments-Certain-Experiences-Extraordinary/dp/1501147765/

• The Messy Middle: Finding Your Way Through the Hardest and Most Crucial Part of Any Bold Venture: https://www.amazon.com/Messy-Middle-Finding-Through-Hardest/dp/0735218072

• Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration: https://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Inc-Expanded-Overcoming-Inspiration/dp/0593594649

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Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com.

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Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.

To hear more, visit www.lennysnewsletter.com

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