Being the leader people need, not consensus seeker

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, the bestselling author of Good Inside, and the founder of a parenting platform used by millions. Known for her practical, psychology-based approach to parenting, Dr. Becky shares how the same principles that help parents raise resilient children can make you a much more effective leader. In this conversation, she breaks down why all human systems—whether families or companies—operate on the same fundamental principles, and how understanding these dynamics can make you more effective in every relationship.

We discuss:

1. Why repair—not perfection—defines strong leadership

2. Why you need to connect before you correct to build cooperation and trust

3. The “most generous interpretation” framework for handling difficult behaviors

4. How to correctly set boundaries (vs. making requests)

5. The power of “I believe you, and I believe in you”

6. What it looks like to be a “sturdy” leader

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Episode transcript: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/dr-becky-on-the-surprising-overlap

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Archive of all Lenny's Podcast transcripts: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/yxi4s2w998p1gvtpu4193/AMdNPR8AOw0lMklwtnC0TrQ?rlkey=j06x0nipoti519e0xgm23zsn9&st=ahz0fj11&dl=0

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Where to find Dr. Becky Kennedy:

• X: https://x.com/GoodInside

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbecky

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbeckyatgoodinside

• Website: https://www.goodinside.com

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Where to find Lenny:

• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com

• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/

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In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Introduction to Dr. Becky Kennedy

(05:14) Connecting parenting and leadership

(08:40) The power of repair

(11:05) Connecting before correcting

(17:45) Good Inside framework at work

(22:08) The most generous interpretation (MGI)

(25:46) Curiosity over judgment

(27:07) Understanding behavior change

(31:08) What potty training can teach us about workplace behavior

(34:40) Naming your intention

(35:41) Sturdy leadership

(40:52) How to set boundaries well

(46:33) The role of leadership and consensus

(50:50) The importance of being “locatable”

(52:40) A powerful story of betrayal and realization

(57:12) Building resilience over happiness

(01:00:34) The power of the phrase “I believe you, and I believe in you.”

(01:09:08) The Good Inside community and resources

(01:16:22) AI corner

(01:19:52) Good Inside’s mission

(01:22:26) Lightning round and final thoughts

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Referenced:

• Shreyas Doshi on pre-mortems, the LNO framework, the three levels of product work, why most execution problems are strategy problems, and ROI vs. opportunity cost thinking: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/episode-3-shreyas-doshi

• Radical Candor: From theory to practice with author Kim Scott: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/radical-candor-from-theory-to-practice

• From ChatGPT to Instagram to Uber: The quiet architect behind the world’s most popular products | Peter Deng: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/the-quiet-architect-peter-deng

• Punch: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_(play)

• Figma: https://www.figma.com

• Andrew Hogan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ahhogan

• Replit: https://replit.com

• Behind the product: Replit | Amjad Masad (co-founder and CEO): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/behind-the-product-replit-amjad-masad

• Lovable: https://lovable.dev

• Building Lovable: $10M ARR in 60 days with 15 people | Anton Osika (co-founder and CEO): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/building-lovable-anton-osika

• Claude: https://claude.ai

• ChatGPT: https://chatgpt.com

• Secrets We Keep on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81697668

• K Pop Demon Hunters on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81498621

• Liberty puzzles: https://libertypuzzles.com

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Recommended books:

• Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Candor-Revised-Kick-Ass-Humanity/dp/1250235375

• Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Resilient Parenting Prioritizing Connection Over Correction: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Inside-Guide-Becoming-Parent/dp/0063159481

• Leave Me Alone!: A Good Inside Story About Deeply Feeling Kids: https://www.amazon.com/Leave-Me-Alone-Inside-Feeling/dp/1250413117

• The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Moments-Certain-Experiences-Extraordinary/dp/1501147765/

• The Messy Middle: Finding Your Way Through the Hardest and Most Crucial Part of Any Bold Venture: https://www.amazon.com/Messy-Middle-Finding-Through-Hardest/dp/0735218072

• Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration: https://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Inc-Expanded-Overcoming-Inspiration/dp/0593594649

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Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com.

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Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.