Nudge Why is it so hard to say no?
29 snips
Jan 5, 2026 
Dr. Sunita Sah, a behavioural scientist and physician at Cornell, explores the perplexing reasons behind our difficulty in saying no. She highlights how social pressure, unclear consent, and a lack of defiance training lead us to comply against our better judgment. Drawing from the Milgram experiments, she discusses the concept of ‘insinuation anxiety’—the fear that saying no might imply distrust. Sunita also offers practical tips for mastering the art of refusal, framing defiance as a learnable skill. Her insights are particularly eye-opening for anyone seeking to reclaim their agency in daily interactions.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Doctor's Pressure Over A CT Scan
- Dr. Sunita Sah went to an ER with chest pain and declined after tests but the doctor still pushed for a CT scan.
- Despite medical training and knowledge about radiation risks, she complied initially and accepted the scan.
Milgram: Compliance Amid Distress
- Milgram's obedience study showed 65% of participants continued to 450 volts despite distress.
- High compliance coexisted with visible nervousness, showing obedience isn't simple cold-heartedness.
Insinuation Anxiety Explains Why We Comply
- Sunita identifies a psychological force she calls insinuation anxiety: fear that saying no signals distrust.
- This anxiety makes people comply to avoid implying the other is untrustworthy or incompetent.
