In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.
In this book, Eli J. Finkel presents a groundbreaking investigation of marriage, showing that the best marriages today are superior to those of earlier eras. He combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice, discussing the evolution of marriage from providing basic needs like food and shelter to modern expectations of love, companionship, and personal growth. Finkel introduces 'lovehacks' and strategies for better communication and responsiveness, and offers guidance on recalibrating expectations. The book is designed for anyone looking to improve their marriage, from newlyweds to empty nesters, and those considering marriage or remarriage.
Do you want to know the secret to know if your chemistry will last?
Are you wondering why you can't move on from your ex?
If you have questions about love and relationships, this episode is for you. Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is back. Esther is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Esther’s TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts.
If you've ever wondered when a relationship is worth saving or why we grieve after a breakup, Esther has incredible insights to share that you can apply to your own relationship. Let's discover the power of accountability in relationships and how it can trigger positive change. We discuss the art of turning conflict into connection. Also, we uncover the negative effects of losing curiosity and how it impacts our connections.
The conversation also fearlessly tackles the topics of betrayal, lack of trust, and the intersection of relationships, technology, and mental health. Get ready for a fascinating exploration of the narratives that shape our relationships, the dynamics between rationalists and romantics, and what truly makes a real relationship.
In this interview, you’ll learn:
How to turn conflicts into genuine connection
Why relationships often fail
How to save your correct relationship
What to do after a breakup
How to boost trust and confidence in a relationship
It is truly a thought-provoking and heartfelt journey into the essence of human connection.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Thank you to Soho Works 10 Jay in Dumbo for hosting us for this episode.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:12 When is a Relationship Worth Saving?
03:51 Why Do We Grieve After a Breakup?
05:14 Accountability in Relationships Can Trigger Change
10:00 How to Turn Conflict Into Connection
14:10 People Try to Overcome Fear by Gaining Control
17:14 The Negative Effects of the Loss of Curiosity
22:09 Blaming the Other Doesn’t Solve Anything
27:21 How to Make Your Partner Feel Important
29:10 Other Mediums to Express What You’re Unable to Say
36:01 Do New Things Together
38:08 There are Lingering Feelings that Stays Even After Breakup
41:53 We All Fear Betrayal and Lack of Trust
43:35 How to Value and Protect Your Relationship
50:50 The Real Story Before and After Betrayal
55:33 The Intersection of Relationships, Technology, and Mental Health
01:01:50 The False Relationship Narrative that Failed us
01:04:22 The Rationalists and the Romantics
01:06:23 What Makes for a Real Relationship?
01:10:04 Diversifying Long-Term Relationships
01:15:55 Your Partner’s Opinion Matters
01:21:11 The Real Definition of Self Confidence
01:24:59 We Are Drawn to People We Don’t Want to Become
01:28:03 Where Should We Begin A Game of Stories with Esther Perel
Episode Resources:
Esther Perel | Website
Esther Perel | Twitter
Esther Perel | Instagram
Esther Perel | YouTube
Esther Perel | Facebook
Esther Perel | Books
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty 
