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What Does Being Happy Actually Mean? with Gretchen Rubin

Jan 7, 2026

Guest

Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author and happiness researcher, shares her insights on what happiness truly means. She emphasizes that negative emotions, like sadness and regret, are vital for growth and understanding. Instead of fixating on constant positivity, she advocates for embracing a full emotional spectrum. Rubin also discusses the importance of enjoying the journey rather than merely focusing on outcomes, and how our environments and technology shape our well-being. Her practical approach offers a refreshing take on cultivating happiness.

42:25

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insights

INSIGHT

Curiosity Scaled Into A Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin turned curiosity about happiness into a structured project that transformed her life and career.
She treats happiness as a large subject with many practical subparts worth experimenting on.

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ADVICE

Enjoy The Process, Not Just The Arrival

Enjoy the process instead of fixating on arrival moments and outcomes.
If you can't enjoy the process, reconsider the goal because arrival rarely produces the expected transformation.

insights

INSIGHT

Define Happiness For Yourself

Happiness has many valid definitions and you should define it for yourself.
Small, everyday choices often represent low-hanging fruit to increase your happiness.

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From Law to Studying Happiness

02:56 • 3min

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Following Curiosity as a Career Compass

06:04 • 3min

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The Arrival Fallacy and Enjoying Process

Defining Happiness Practically

18:04 • 2min

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Happiness and Negative Emotions Together

20:11 • 6min

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Negative Emotions as Signals and Tools

Parsing Sadness to Find Solutions

29:37 • 3min

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Senses, Environment, and Happiness

32:19 • 2min

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Using Negative Emotions to Recalibrate

34:32 • 2min

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Cultivating the Sublime and Meaning

37:02 • 2min

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Technology as Amplifier of Human Nature

39:27 • 2min

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Final Reflections on The Happiness Project

41:34 • 1min

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Host Takeaways: Negative Emotions as Teachers

• Mentioned in 30 episodes

Life in Five Senses

How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World

Gretchen Rubin

In 'Life in Five Senses,' Gretchen Rubin delves into the mysteries and joys of the five senses as a means to achieve a happier, more mindful life. After realizing she had been overlooking her senses while studying happiness, Rubin embarked on a year-long experiment to heighten her senses and use her powers of perception to live a fuller life. Drawing on cutting-edge science, philosophy, literature, and personal experiences, she investigates how simple pleasures like appreciating ketchup and favorite songs, as well as more adventurous activities like daily visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, can enhance daily life. Rubin shows how tuning into the physical world can help individuals cheer up, calm down, and engage more deeply with their surroundings.

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• Mentioned in 17 episodes

What Color Is Your Parachute?

A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career Changers

Richard N. Bolles

What Color Is Your Parachute? is more than a job-hunting book; it is a guide to discovering one's passions, values, and transferable skills to design a fulfilling career. The book, updated annually, provides advice on networking, resume writing, interviewing, and salary negotiation. It features the renowned 'Flower Exercise,' a self-assessment tool that helps readers identify their ideal career paths. With over ten million copies sold, it has been a trusted resource for people at various stages of their careers, from those seeking their first job to those considering a career change.

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• Mentioned in 41 episodes

Better Than Before

Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

Gretchen Rubin

In 'Better Than Before', Gretchen Rubin explores the science and practice of habit formation. She identifies 21 strategies for making and breaking habits, emphasizing the importance of self-knowledge and tailoring habits to individual personalities. Rubin categorizes people into four tendencies—Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—and explains how these tendencies influence habit formation. The book is filled with practical advice, personal anecdotes, and rigorous research, making it a comprehensive and engaging guide to building happier, stronger, and more productive lives.

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• Mentioned in 58 episodes

Stumbling on Happiness

Daniel Gilbert

In 'Stumbling on Happiness,' Daniel Gilbert delves into the human capacity to imagine the future and why we are often poor at predicting what will make us happy. Gilbert argues that our imagination is flawed in several ways: it adds or removes details, extrapolates from the present, and fails to account for the psychological immune system that helps us cope with undesired outcomes. The book uses scientific research from psychology, cognitive neuroscience, and behavioral economics to explain why we consistently misjudge our future satisfaction and how this affects our decisions. Gilbert also suggests that understanding these biases can help us make better choices and gain more control over our pursuit of happiness.

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• Mentioned in 59 episodes

The Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin

In 'The Happiness Project', Gretchen Rubin chronicles her year-long journey to enhance her happiness. Despite having a fulfilling life, Rubin realized she wasn’t focusing enough on her own happiness. She divided her project into twelve months, each with a different area of focus and specific goals. From boosting energy and improving her marriage to enhancing her work life and leisure activities, Rubin tested various strategies, including those from Epicurus, Thoreau, and modern scientists. The book combines historical wisdom, scientific research, and personal anecdotes to provide practical advice on how to make life happier and more fulfilling.

What does happiness mean and why do negative emotions matter more than we think?

In this thoughtful conversation, Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of The Happiness Project and host of the Happier podcast, joins Steven Burns to explore what it really means to live a meaningful life. Rather than chasing constant positivity, Gretchen makes the case for embracing the full emotional spectrum - sadness, envy, regret, and melancholy - as essential tools for insight, growth, and wisdom.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re not happy all the time, this episode is for you.

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