The 5 Principles that Lead to Resilient Humans (with developmental psychologist Aliza Pressman)
Jan 9, 2024
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Aliza Pressman, a developmental psychologist, discusses the importance of a strength-based approach to parenting and the difference between boundaries, limits, and rules. She also explores the significance of self-regulation in parenting and the concept of worry as a protective response. Additionally, they discuss the importance of rules and boundaries in relationships and the power of nurturing and the five senses in building relationships with children.
Parenting should have a strength-based approach rather than a deficit-focused approach.
Resilience can be developed in children through building a strong relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair.
Building a strong and nurturing relationship with your child is fundamental for their overall well-being in parenting.
Deep dives
The Five Principles of Parenting
Eliza Pressman shares the five principles of parenting in her book. These principles include relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair. Relationship focuses on building a strong bond with your child, reflection involves understanding yourself and your child, regulation involves teaching your child to regulate their emotions, rules are necessary for safety and boundaries, and repair involves repairing the relationship and resolving conflicts. These principles are important for raising resilient children.
The Importance of Building Resilience
Resilience is a key factor in child development, and it is built through a combination of the principles discussed. Resilience allows children to bounce back from adversities and setbacks. Through a strong relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair, parents can provide the support and tools necessary for their children to develop resilience.
The Role of Relationship in Parenting
Relationship is fundamental in parenting as it provides the foundation for all other principles. Building a strong and nurturing relationship with your child is essential for their overall well-being. It involves creating a safe and secure environment, being present and attentive, and fostering open communication and trust.
Reflection and Self-Awareness
Reflection is a vital component of parenting as it involves understanding yourself and your child. It allows you to gain insight into your own reactions and behaviors, as well as your child's needs and emotions. Reflection helps in cultivating empathy, improving communication, and building a deeper connection with your child.
Regulation and Emotional Well-Being
Regulation focuses on teaching children to regulate their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. It involves helping them recognize and name their feelings, managing and expressing emotions in a constructive manner, and developing self-control and resilience in the face of challenges. By promoting emotional well-being, parents can support their child's overall development.
“We don't allow ourselves to just kind of let our shoulders go down and trust that we are enough and we’re exactly what our kids need and that it’s not as complicated as it’s made out to be,” says Aliza Pressman, author of The 5 Principles of Parenting and host of the Raising Good Humans podcast. In this conversation, Pressman talks through the importance of having a strength-based (vs. deficit) approach to parenting; the difference between boundaries, limits, and rules; and how to use the five principles to build resilience.