Episode 167: This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matthew Fray

Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships.

I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, “She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink.”  It’s not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it?  Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more. 

Show Highlights

• How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55)
• In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44)
• Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14)
• Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14)
• Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41)
• We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19)

Learn more about Matthew Fray:

Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.

Resources & Links:

Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June Matthew's website Matthew's new book Matthew on Twitter Matthew on Facebook She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink

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