The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

If you’ve ever felt like you “just weren’t born a good communicator,” I want to stop you right there. Most of us are not born with these skills, instead we learn them, often the hard way. I know, because when someone asked me at my book launch, “Where did you learn to communicate?” I blanked and said I was “just born with it.” The truth? Communication is something I studied, practiced, and worked at for years. In this solo episode, I walk you through the communication tools that changed everything for me. These skills didn’t save my marriage, but they did save my divorce. They made co-parenting possible (because he’d learned these skills too), built the foundation for healthier friendships and relationships, and became the backbone of the work I do with my clients. This isn’t about becoming perfect or never messing up, it’s about learning how to really listen, how to be heard, and how to create connection instead of disconnection. And yes, it’s a practice. In this episode, I share: How I learned communication skills the hard way Why Imago therapy can be a useful communication model, but not a solution for abuse The power of listening for feelings underneath words, not just the words themselves How feedback loops, timing, and permission are key to being heard Why I-statements, mirroring, and empathy create deeper connections in every kind of relationship ✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Resources & Links: Don’t forget to grab the free worksheet to help you get started with active listening, I-statements, and more. Download the Communication Worksheet Mentioned in This Episode at: KateAnthony.com/communicate The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-337-solo-episode-how-i-learned-the-communication-skills-that-changed-my-life/

I’m excited to welcome back Jennie Young to the podcast. Jennie is here to talk about dating after divorce and how to protect yourself from getting tangled in the patterns you worked so hard to get yourself out of. She’s the creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method — a sharp and fiercely feminist approach to spotting danger early in the dating process, and the author of the upcoming book Burn the Haystack In our conversation, Jennie and I dig into the realities of dating after divorce: from spotting danger in seemingly “safe” profiles to challenging the patriarchal scripts that keep women waiting to be chosen. Plus, we talk about shifting into the seat of choice, what it looks like to feel genuinely comfortable being single, and how these changes ripple out into raising kids with healthier expectations. ✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Jennie shares her origin story and the ah-ha moment that led to creating The Burned Haystack Dating Method (2:31) The feminist philosophy behind Burned Haystack and how it flips the traditional “pick me” script (5:33) Why green flags can actually be red flags in disguise: from love bombing to performative sensitivity (15:25) The importance of being comfortable (and even happy) being single before re-entering dating (32:44) What the “extinction burst” in the toxic manosphere means, and why starving it of attention is essential (35:09) How to shift the messaging for our kids so they grow up with healthier expectations and values (42:39) Learn more about Jennie Young: Jennie Young is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a dating method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis. It is designed to combat many of the challenges of dating in a market that is too frequently mediated by misogynistic and patriarchal structures. She holds a Ph.D. in rhetoric and discourse studies from Case Western Reserve University and a satire writing certificate from Second City Chicago. Her work has been published in McSweeney’s, Ms. Magazine, HuffPost, and others and covered by major media outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, RollingStone, and others. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Jennie’s book Burn the HaystackJennie’s Substack, Burned HaystackJennie’s website Jennie’s Facebook Group Jennie on Instagram Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young Episode 325: They Helped Me Find Love—Now They’re Interviewing Me About It! With Alyssa Dineen and Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-336-breaking-patterns-choosing-power-dating-after-divorce-with-jennie-young/  

Podcast favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley is back on the show! Today we’re unpacking something I know will resonate with so many of you: our trauma responses. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn… we all have them. But what if instead of shaming ourselves for these responses, we learned to use them for our benefit? Amelia and I get into what each response actually looks like day-to-day, why they happen so quickly in the body, and how to bring more consciousness when they show up. We also explore ways to reframe them so they can become tools that work in your favor: turning fight into advocacy, flight into creativity, freeze into stillness, and fawn into compassion and service. ✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: The four trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn (2:36) Why these responses happen so fast in the brain and nervous system (5:41) The role of naming and grounding in shifting your experience (17:47) How to recognize your default response and bring more choice into it (19:55) Using trauma responses in intentional ways, like boxing, cycling, meditation, or setting boundaries (38:20) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley:  Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women’s issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is an adjunct professor in Psychology at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio’s The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR’s The Measure of Everyday Life and 411 Teen. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is also a resident trainer at PESI offering continuing trauma-focused education to professionals. She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, as well as Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Lifehacker, Well + Good and Insider.  Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Dr. Amelia Kelley’s websiteDr. Amelia Kelley on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-335-making-your-trauma-responses-work-for-you-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

New episodes are back! Blair Glaser joins me to talk about how leadership roles, yes, the ones from the boardroom, can help you become a better partner, communicator, and even co-parent during and after divorce. What it comes down to, quite simply, is using leadership for love. Blair shares how her four-part leadership model applies directly to relationships in transition, including divorce and co-parenting. You’ll hear how clarifying roles reduces tension, why creating a shared vision anchors you during conflict, and how to shift dynamics when relationships change. Whether you’re navigating the emotional upheaval of divorce, stepping into a new co-parenting landscape, or preparing for healthier love in the future, this conversation offers practical tools you can start using right now. Podcast episodes are now available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: How leadership principles can change the way you date, partner, and co-parent (2:38) Why traditional models of relationships no longer work (13:46) How to use roles intentionally to reduce conflict and anxiety in relationships (15:34) What it means to fight well, and how to turn conflict into constructive negotiation (19:36) The four-part model Blair designed for co-leadership in intimate relationships (21:02) Why creating a shared vision matters most when co-parenting after divorce (23:36) Learn more about Blair Glaser: Blair Glaser is a (recovering) psychotherapist, executive leadership coach, and organizational development consultant. In an increasingly technological world, she is committed to promoting HI (Human Intelligence), offering people tips and tools to master effective communication, relationships, and making an impact. Over the course of 30 years, she has guided women, couples, veterans, urban youth, and executives and teams (in nonprofits and Fortune 500 companies alike) to lives of greater freedom and enjoyment. She’s been quoted in the New York Times, LA Times, Spirituality and Health, and other publications, and ran workshops nationwide at institutions like NYU and Omega retreat centers. She is also a writer with a memoir about living in an ashram coming out in February 2026. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and dog-ter, Vanna White. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Learn to Lead in Love: Introductory call with Blair, Just for The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners Blair on Facebook Blair on LinkedIn Blair on InstagramBlair’s Substack Newsletter Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Susan Guthrie, a top family law and mediation attorney with 30 years of experience, shares invaluable insights for those facing divorce. She discusses why January is known as 'divorce month' and the crucial first steps after initiating the conversation about separation. Listeners learn about building a supportive divorce team, the benefits of mediation, and the importance of personalized approaches to divorce. Guthrie emphasizes patience, clear communication, and the emotional aspects of the process, making navigating this challenging time more manageable.

Gain insights into the complex journey of divorce with a handy roadmap! Discover the three crucial stages: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, each filled with unique phases. Navigate emotional challenges and practical decisions, from co-parenting talks to legal matters. Learn how identifying your current position can empower you to move forward and find clarity amid the chaos. It's an enlightening guide to help you feel grounded as you embrace new beginnings.

In this insightful discussion, Annette Oltmans, a philanthropist and founder of The M3ND Project, delves into the often-overlooked realm of covert emotional abuse. She shares her personal journey through prolonged emotional abuse and the complexities of recognizing manipulative behaviors. Annette highlights the four pillars of abuse and emphasizes the importance of specialized therapy for recovery. Listeners will gain valuable insights into the dynamics of abusive relationships and the significance of setting boundaries for healing.

This encore episode features Britt Frank, therapist and author of The Science of Stuck, and we’re unpacking what it actually means to feel stuck and how to finally move through it. Britt has a gift for cutting through the shame we carry about our behaviors.  Whether it’s procrastination, burnout, people-pleasing, or codependency, she breaks down the brain-body connection behind it all and reminds us that you can’t logic your way out of an emotional process. If you’ve ever felt frozen, overwhelmed, or trapped in your own patterns, this conversation is a lifeline. What you’ll hear about in this episode: How to define the ‘first step’ to help you figure out your plan for getting unstuck Britt explains why we can’t think ourselves forward  We explore the steps to help you get unstuck including: Validating what’s happening and determining the resources available to help right now  Why Britt says to stay away from positive and negative thinking and instead focus on accurate thinking  Self-mothering is one the most powerful ways of breaking trauma bonds Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children’s psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Britt’s website Britt on Instagram Britt’s book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/    

Over the next month, I’ll be sharing encore episodes of the podcast - conversations that remain just as relevant and impactful today. New episodes will be back in September!  This week’s encore episode features fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley, and we’re digging into what gaslighting really is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we start to heal from it. This conversation originally aired in 2023, but it’s just as relevant today — especially if you’re navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse or trying to reclaim your sense of self. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, researcher, and author whose work centers on women’s issues, relationship trauma, adult ADHD, and empowering survivors of abuse. Together, we unpack how gaslighting is used as a tool for power and control, how it erodes confidence and self-trust, and why self-care isn’t optional when you’re healing, it’s essential. What you’ll hear about in this episode: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t  The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health  Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?”  You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing  The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting  What self-care looks like during the healing process  Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused  Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.  Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Dr. Kelley’s websiteDr. Kelley on InstagramNYTimes Article about Women and Menopause Heart Disease in Women =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

Explore the manipulative tactics used by narcissists, from love bombing to gaslighting. Learn how to ground yourself in reality and protect your boundaries against hoovering and intimidation. Discover strategies to counteract projection and smear campaigns, ensuring you stay rooted in your truth. Understand the emotional complexities of past relationships while building a supportive network. Most importantly, reclaim your power and develop your own playbook for navigating the challenges of emotional abuse.