The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

New episodes are back! Blair Glaser joins me to talk about how leadership roles, yes, the ones from the boardroom, can help you become a better partner, communicator, and even co-parent during and after divorce. What it comes down to, quite simply, is using leadership for love. Blair shares how her four-part leadership model applies directly to relationships in transition, including divorce and co-parenting. You’ll hear how clarifying roles reduces tension, why creating a shared vision anchors you during conflict, and how to shift dynamics when relationships change. Whether you’re navigating the emotional upheaval of divorce, stepping into a new co-parenting landscape, or preparing for healthier love in the future, this conversation offers practical tools you can start using right now. Podcast episodes are now available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: How leadership principles can change the way you date, partner, and co-parent (2:38) Why traditional models of relationships no longer work (13:46) How to use roles intentionally to reduce conflict and anxiety in relationships (15:34) What it means to fight well, and how to turn conflict into constructive negotiation (19:36) The four-part model Blair designed for co-leadership in intimate relationships (21:02) Why creating a shared vision matters most when co-parenting after divorce (23:36) Learn more about Blair Glaser: Blair Glaser is a (recovering) psychotherapist, executive leadership coach, and organizational development consultant. In an increasingly technological world, she is committed to promoting HI (Human Intelligence), offering people tips and tools to master effective communication, relationships, and making an impact. Over the course of 30 years, she has guided women, couples, veterans, urban youth, and executives and teams (in nonprofits and Fortune 500 companies alike) to lives of greater freedom and enjoyment. She’s been quoted in the New York Times, LA Times, Spirituality and Health, and other publications, and ran workshops nationwide at institutions like NYU and Omega retreat centers. She is also a writer with a memoir about living in an ashram coming out in February 2026. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and dog-ter, Vanna White. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Learn to Lead in Love: Introductory call with Blair, Just for The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners Blair on Facebook Blair on LinkedIn Blair on InstagramBlair’s Substack Newsletter Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Susan Guthrie, a top family law and mediation attorney with 30 years of experience, shares invaluable insights for those facing divorce. She discusses why January is known as 'divorce month' and the crucial first steps after initiating the conversation about separation. Listeners learn about building a supportive divorce team, the benefits of mediation, and the importance of personalized approaches to divorce. Guthrie emphasizes patience, clear communication, and the emotional aspects of the process, making navigating this challenging time more manageable.

Gain insights into the complex journey of divorce with a handy roadmap! Discover the three crucial stages: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, each filled with unique phases. Navigate emotional challenges and practical decisions, from co-parenting talks to legal matters. Learn how identifying your current position can empower you to move forward and find clarity amid the chaos. It's an enlightening guide to help you feel grounded as you embrace new beginnings.

In this insightful discussion, Annette Oltmans, a philanthropist and founder of The M3ND Project, delves into the often-overlooked realm of covert emotional abuse. She shares her personal journey through prolonged emotional abuse and the complexities of recognizing manipulative behaviors. Annette highlights the four pillars of abuse and emphasizes the importance of specialized therapy for recovery. Listeners will gain valuable insights into the dynamics of abusive relationships and the significance of setting boundaries for healing.

This encore episode features Britt Frank, therapist and author of The Science of Stuck, and we’re unpacking what it actually means to feel stuck and how to finally move through it. Britt has a gift for cutting through the shame we carry about our behaviors.  Whether it’s procrastination, burnout, people-pleasing, or codependency, she breaks down the brain-body connection behind it all and reminds us that you can’t logic your way out of an emotional process. If you’ve ever felt frozen, overwhelmed, or trapped in your own patterns, this conversation is a lifeline. What you’ll hear about in this episode: How to define the ‘first step’ to help you figure out your plan for getting unstuck Britt explains why we can’t think ourselves forward  We explore the steps to help you get unstuck including: Validating what’s happening and determining the resources available to help right now  Why Britt says to stay away from positive and negative thinking and instead focus on accurate thinking  Self-mothering is one the most powerful ways of breaking trauma bonds Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children’s psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Britt’s website Britt on Instagram Britt’s book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/    

Over the next month, I’ll be sharing encore episodes of the podcast - conversations that remain just as relevant and impactful today. New episodes will be back in September!  This week’s encore episode features fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley, and we’re digging into what gaslighting really is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we start to heal from it. This conversation originally aired in 2023, but it’s just as relevant today — especially if you’re navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse or trying to reclaim your sense of self. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, researcher, and author whose work centers on women’s issues, relationship trauma, adult ADHD, and empowering survivors of abuse. Together, we unpack how gaslighting is used as a tool for power and control, how it erodes confidence and self-trust, and why self-care isn’t optional when you’re healing, it’s essential. What you’ll hear about in this episode: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t  The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health  Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?”  You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing  The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting  What self-care looks like during the healing process  Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused  Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.  Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Dr. Kelley’s websiteDr. Kelley on InstagramNYTimes Article about Women and Menopause Heart Disease in Women =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

Explore the manipulative tactics used by narcissists, from love bombing to gaslighting. Learn how to ground yourself in reality and protect your boundaries against hoovering and intimidation. Discover strategies to counteract projection and smear campaigns, ensuring you stay rooted in your truth. Understand the emotional complexities of past relationships while building a supportive network. Most importantly, reclaim your power and develop your own playbook for navigating the challenges of emotional abuse.

Why are women’s health concerns still being dismissed and what can we do about it? The healthcare system was not built for women. For many of us, especially in midlife, our health concerns are dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored. And when you’re navigating the storm of divorce at the same time as perimenopause or menopause? It can feel like you’re unraveling.  I’m joined by Phoenix Rising member Kathy Gould, a holistic health coach, personal trainer, life coach, lactation consultant, and current grad student finishing her second Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy. (I’m telling you, the women in Phoenix Rising are BADASS!) This episode started as a guest expert session inside Phoenix Rising (my divorce empowerment collective for women). The conversation was so powerful, I knew I had to bring it to the podcast. Kathy and I get into why the medical system has failed women, how we’ve been gaslit about our own bodies, and what it looks like to take our power back especially during times of massive upheaval like divorce. We are not meant to go through this quietly, and we are certainly not meant to go through it alone. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Why women’s health is dismissed, especially in midlife (6:11) The deep need for more open, supportive conversations around our wellness (12:14) The long-standing misconceptions about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) (16:41) What Kathy recommends for women going through both divorce and menopause at the same time (35:15) How to advocate for yourself when doctors aren’t listening (especially if they’re covered by insurance) (41:59) Learn more about Kathy Gould: Kathy is an integrative holistic health coach, life coach and personal trainer. She is also a certified lactation consultant. She holds a Masters Degree in Health Psychology and is currently finishing a second Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Kathy is passionate about women's health and wellness and has dedicated her career to women's physical and emotional wellness. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kathy’s websiteKathy on Instagram NY Times Article: Women Have Been Misled About Menopause Menopause Barbie on YouTube: Dr. Barbara Taylor =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-332-divorce-menopause-and-medical-gaslighting-with-kathy-gould/  

Have you ever felt like if you don’t do it, it just won’t get done? Like the relationship, the parenting, the emotional glue that holds everything together is your job? You might be an overfunctioning woman and this episode is your loving (but no-nonsense) invitation to finally let it go. I’m joined by Dr. Ashley Southard, a licensed marriage and family therapist with over two decades of experience, who has lived the overfunctioning pattern in her own life and now helps women heal from it. We talk about what it really means to carry more than your fair share in a relationship, and how that relentless push to keep things going (when your partner won’t meet you halfway) can cost you your sanity, your health, and your sense of self. If you’re tired, burnt out, and wondering why your relationships feel like so much work, it might be time to stop proving your worth and start receiving real love. And if your partner doesn’t rise when you stop overfunctioning? That’s information. The question becomes: what are you willing to do about it? Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: What overfunctioning really is and how it’s even rooted in emotional labor and patriarchy (4:10) How underfunctioning shows up in a partner (think: not pulling their weight emotionally) (12:42) Why an overfunctioning woman needs an underfunctioning partner (17:56) How to begin healing from overfunctioning by stepping back, tolerating discomfort, and rebuilding a relationship with yourself (20:07) What it means to become a Self-Restored Woman: As Dr. Ashley says, “A woman who no longer works for breadcrumbs and knows she’s worthy of a feast.” (32:42) The Great Rest: what your nervous system does when you finally stop overfunctioning (36:52) A few small but powerful first steps if you’re starting to identify with this pattern and want to make a change (40:07) Learn more about Dr. Ashley Southard: Dr. Ashley Southard is a psychotherapist in Scottsdale, AZ, specializing in The Overfunctioning Woman in Love who is struggling with the confusing, exhausting, and lonely dynamics of a one-sided, unfulfilling love relationship. With over 20 years of clinical experience treating complex trauma, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and relationship issues, coupled with her own personal journey out of Overfunctioning, Dr. Ashley loves nothing more than creating an emotionally safe space for women to discover that they are not ‘crazy’ or ‘broken’…and that they have the power to become the Self-Restored Woman they were always meant to be! Dr. Ashley is also very active on Instagram, offering life-changing information to “make sense out of the nonsense.” She has amassed a strong following of women who are remembering their power, learning how to come back home to themselves, and healing in community with other Self-Restoring women. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveDr. Ashley’s website =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-331-the-overfunctioning-woman-with-dr-ashley-southard/

I’m joined once again by Laurie James for a conversation that bridges nervous system healing, somatic experiencing, and attachment work. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or disconnected in relationships, this episode will help you understand why and what to do about it. Laurie isn’t just a coach and author, she’s someone who’s done the deep work to regulate her nervous system after divorce and heartbreak. In this episode, she shares how her body responded completely differently to a recent breakup, not with panic, but with presence. That’s what nervous system healing looks like in real time. We also dig into attachment styles: how to identify your own, how they show up in anxious or avoidant behaviors, and how somatic work can support real change. Most importantly, we talk about how to stop trying to fix or override your system and start building safety within it. This is about meeting yourself where you are and knowing that real healing is possible. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: What somatic experiencing actually is and how it supports healing (7:31) How your autonomic nervous system operates and what shifts when you engage it intentionally (9:42) The connection between nervous system regulation, somatic work, and attachment styles (16:52) How Laurie’s recent breakup differed from her divorce (and why it matters) (40:44) Practical strategies for working with an avoidant or anxious attachment style (46:45) Learn more about Laurie James: Laurie James is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. Laurie’s podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by her youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to her book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go. Laurie’s book is about her journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when she was raising four teenage daughters, her mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while her marriage began to crumble. Now Laurie helps women divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She blends her coaching and somatic training to help her clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire. Resources & Links: The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate Laurie’s websiteLaurie on Instagram Laurie’s podcast Laurie's Beginner's Guide to Somatic Healing =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-330-attachment-styles-amp-somatic-healing-with-laurie-james/