Lenny's Podcast: Product | Growth | Career

Scripts for difficult conversations: Giving hard feedback, navigating defensiveness, the three questions you should end every meeting with, more | Alisa Cohn (executive coach)

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Jan 5, 2025

Alisa Cohn, an acclaimed executive coach and author, shares her insights on navigating difficult conversations at work. She discusses the psychology behind avoiding tough talks and offers specific scripts to make feedback more constructive. Alisa delves into handling defensive reactions and emphasizes the importance of three key questions to conclude meetings effectively. She also touches on leadership myths and the significance of aligning values among founding teams. With a blend of personal anecdotes, she highlights the power of embracing failure for growth.

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00:00 / 00:00

Preparing for Difficult Conversations

Prepare for difficult conversations by understanding your own discomfort.
Focus on helping the other person improve, not on avoiding upset.

00:00 / 00:00

Giving Performance Feedback

Start performance feedback by stating what you've heard from others.
Frame feedback neutrally, focusing on observable facts and expectations.

00:00 / 00:00

Handling Defensiveness

Pause the conversation if someone becomes defensive or emotional.
Reiterate your intention to help and suggest resuming later.

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