The SelfWork Podcast 469 SelfWork: Understanding the Fears and Faces of Borderline Moms
Oct 24, 2025
Explore the complexities of borderline personality traits, especially in mothers. Unpack the contradictory fears of abandonment and intimacy that shape their relationships. Discover the four distinct archetypes of borderline mothers: the witch, queen, waif, and hermit, each with unique behaviors and impacts. Delve into the clinical implications of these traits, including how previous trauma informs current struggles. Gain insights on effective therapeutic approaches, like dialectical behavior therapy, offering hope for change.
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Lawyer Who Feared His Wife's Volatility
- A prominent lawyer drove to Fayetteville every two weeks because he feared his wife's volatile borderline behaviors.
- He eventually filed for divorce after she risked legal consequences for continued abuse.
Diagnosis Reframes Cause And Treatment
- Labeling a pattern as a personality disorder can shift focus from acute symptoms to childhood trauma and character patterns.
- That perspective helps trace self-destructiveness to past wounds and tailor long-term therapeutic work.
Respond Calmly And Set Clear Limits
- Address insecure or manipulative-seeming communications calmly and set limits rather than labeling them as purely manipulative.
- Explain why certain behaviors are unacceptable and maintain consistent consequences.
