How Fear of Intimacy Creates Push-Pull Dynamics

Today we’re focusing on what are termed borderline traits as well as different types of borderline personality disorder.

There are many people, primarily women, who struggle with it, without knowing what to call it. In fact, it wasn’t a “diagnosis” until 1980. But that certainly doesn’t mean it wasn’t real before that date.

Having any kind of personality disorder is tough. What do those words “personality disorder” mean? We’ll go over that (you may be wondering if you or someone you love may struggle with that). And today, we'll be covering two distinct and contradictory fears of those having borderline traits. We'll also focus on four different categories within the borderline framework that Dr. Christine Lawson uses in her fantastic book, Understanding the Borderline Mother. Her whole approach is so that you, as her adult child, can learn how to have a relationship with her – with certain guardrails put in place.

Vital Links:

Mayo Clinic article on personality disorders

The classic book on borderline personality disorder “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me”

SelfWork episode on nine ways to work through the guilt you may feel with a BPD mom

SelfWork episode on how you can never be enough for someone with BPD

Psychology Today article outlining the two major fears of someone with BPD

Summary of the four types of BPD

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