Frankie Bridge, a mum with mental health issues, discusses parenting and emotions with her children. She talks about the challenges of becoming a parent, navigating childhood anxiety, and balancing motherhood with self-care. The guest emphasizes the importance of open dialogue, patience, and finding joy in the present moment. She also highlights the need to prioritize children's needs and take care of mental health as parents.
Parenting is a constant learning curve, filled with self-doubt and the challenge of relinquishing control.
Judgment in parenting is pervasive and creates immense pressure; a non-judgmental and supportive approach is necessary.
Finding joy in everyday moments and prioritizing self-acceptance are vital to navigate the challenges of parenthood and mental health.
Deep dives
Navigating Parenthood and Mental Health
Parenting is a learning curve, and the speaker reflects on the challenge of not having control over everything in her children's lives. She grapples with feelings of self-doubt, wondering if she is doing a good enough job and if someone else would be better at being a mother to her children. The speaker also discusses her own struggles with mental health, which have been exacerbated by the practicalities and emotions of becoming a parent. She emphasizes the importance of taking time for oneself and the difficulty of doing so, as self-care often comes with feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
The Pressure of Judgment in Parenting
The speaker highlights the pervasive nature of judgment in parenting and the immense pressure it creates. She questions why there is such a strong need to judge and criticize others' parenting choices and emphasizes that no one has all the answers or can be a perfect parent. The speaker expresses frustration with the judgment she faces, from decisions such as taking medication during pregnancy to seemingly small choices like using a dummy for her child. She advocates for a supportive and non-judgmental approach, recognizing that every child and every parenting journey is unique.
Finding Joy and Letting Go of Control
The speaker reflects on the importance of finding joy in everyday moments and being present in the moment. She discusses the loss of joy and constant worry that comes with adulthood and parenting, where the focus is on getting through the day rather than embracing the small moments of happiness. The speaker shares the lessons she has learned from her children, including letting go of control and accepting oneself. She acknowledges that mistakes are a natural part of parenting and highlights the need to be kinder to oneself and prioritize self-acceptance.
The Impact of Anxiety on Parenting
The podcast discusses how anxiety, which the speaker was already experiencing prior to becoming a parent, impacts their parenting journey. While the speaker initially believed that becoming a parent would heighten their anxiety, they found that the realization of not being able to control everything actually helped alleviate some anxiety. However, they still have anxieties about their own performance as a parent and occasionally have dark days where they question if someone else would be better suited for the role.
The Pressure of Motherhood and the Lack of Support
The podcast highlights the lack of conversation around antenatal depression and the pressure mothers face to always appear happy and radiant during pregnancy. The speaker shares their personal experience of feeling depressed during pregnancy and struggling with body changes and loss of control. They also discuss the societal expectation for mothers to do it all and the resulting guilt for wanting time away from their children or pursuing their own interests and careers. The importance of allowing children to figure out their own interests and avoiding the pressure to conform to societal expectations is emphasized.
Becoming a parent will have its highs and lows for everyone, but Frankie Bridge became a mum knowing she already had existing mental health issues to contend with too. In this chat with Fearne, Frankie discusses how she talks to her children about their own emotions as well as hers.
Publicly we’re having more frank conversations about post-natal depression, but antenatal depression still isn’t discussed as widely, so Frankie also opens up about her mental health while she was pregnant.
Frankie’s book, Grow: Motherhood, Mental Health, and Me, is out now.