Believing Me- Healing Complex Trauma with Dr. Ingrid Clayton
Oct 3, 2022
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Psychologist and trauma therapist Dr. Ingrid Clayton shares her experiences with complex trauma and healing from narcissistic abuse. She discusses her memoir 'Believing Me' and the impact of growing up in a narcissistic family system. The chapter explores navigating trauma, healing, and boundaries, emphasizing the importance of listening to our nervous system and establishing reciprocity in relationships. The hosts express gratitude and provide links to Dr. Clayton's book.
Dr. Ingrid Clayton emphasizes the importance of validation, self-belief, and the ongoing journey of trauma recovery.
Dr. Ingrid Clayton highlights the cycle of trauma bonding and the grooming techniques employed by her stepfather, shedding light on her own experiences and connecting them to patterns of abuse.
Deep dives
Believing Me: A Memoir of Complex Trauma and Narcissistic Abuse
In this podcast episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses her recently released memoir, 'Believing Me.' She shares her personal story of healing from complex trauma and understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse at the hands of her stepfather. The memoir delves into the effects of gaslighting and the long-lasting impact it had on her ability to trust herself. Through writing the book, she confronts the minimization of her experiences and sets boundaries with her mother, who failed to acknowledge the abuse. Dr. Clayton highlights the importance of validation, self-belief, and the ongoing journey of trauma recovery.
The Cycle of Trauma Bonding and Grooming
Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses the cycle of trauma bonding and the grooming techniques employed by her stepfather. She describes how the manipulation and extremes of highs and lows in their relationship created a hormonal attachment that resembled love. She shares a specific incident at the age of 13 when boundaries were blurred, and her body recognized the alarming nature of the situation. Through her research and conversations with others, Dr. Clayton discovered that her stepfather had a pattern of grooming young girls, which helped her connect the dots and gain clarity about her own experiences.
The Challenging Relationship with Her Mother
Dr. Ingrid Clayton reflects on her complex relationship with her mother, who was unable to advocate for her during the abusive situation. She describes how her mother, under the control of her stepfather, lost her voice and became manipulated to only speak when he approved. Despite her mother's involvement and witnessing of the abuse, she failed to acknowledge or address it. Even when confronted and given opportunities to apologize and validate Dr. Clayton's experiences, her mother remained defensive and denied the truth. Dr. Clayton shares the importance of setting boundaries with her mother and acknowledging her own emotional wounds.
The Journey of Healing and Finding Self-Worth
Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses the healing journey she embarked on, confronting her past, and understanding the impact of trauma on her relationships and choices. She highlights the importance of recognizing trauma responses and their role in perpetuating toxic relationships. Dr. Clayton emphasizes the process of setting boundaries and discovering her self-worth. She dispels the notion of the 'fetishism of the family,' where dysfunctional relationships are prioritized in the name of family. She shares her commitment to healing, validating her own experiences, and becoming the mother she wants to be for her own child.
In this episode I’m joined with psychologist and trauma therapist Dr. Ingrid Clayton. Ingrid experienced abuse at the hands of her narcissistic stepfather and recently released her powerful memoir called Believing Me, about her survival as a child and adult healing from narcissistic and complex trauma.
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