Transforming Perfectionism into Growth: Katherine Morgan Schafler’s Guide
Aug 26, 2024
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Katherine Morgan Schafler, a distinguished psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, offers a refreshing perspective on perfectionism. She reframes it as a potent asset rather than an adversary, sharing strategies to transform perfectionistic traits into avenues for growth and self-compassion. Katherine discusses the importance of aligning with personal values, setting boundaries to combat burnout, and cultivating optimism as a mindset for resilience. This insightful conversation equips listeners with essential tools for embracing their perfectionism positively.
Perfectionism, when reframed as a superpower, can enhance self-awareness and guide individuals towards a meaningful life journey.
True balance is not about constant busyness, but about pursuing wholeness, integrating both positive and negative experiences for personal growth.
Deep dives
Rethinking Perfectionism
Perfectionism is often perceived as a negative trait, but it can actually serve as a valuable tool when understood properly. Instead of viewing it as a problem that needs fixing, it can be reframed as an integral aspect of one’s identity that can bring clarity and direction. Catherine Morgan Schaffler suggests that perfectionists recognize the gap between reality and their ideals, and naturally strive to bridge that gap. This perspective allows individuals to embrace their perfectionist tendencies while using them to create a meaningful and fulfilling life rather than being burdened by unrealistic standards.
The Illusion of Balance
The discourse surrounding 'balance' in life often misses the mark, equating it with being busy rather than achieving true equilibrium. Schaffler argues that the contemporary notion of balance has been distorted from its original concept of energetic equilibrium to a mere ability to manage numerous tasks without dropping the ball. She emphasizes that striving for this kind of balance is unrealistic and reinforces harmful societal expectations, especially for women. Instead, wellness should be viewed as a pursuit of wholeness, where experiences—both good and bad—contribute to an understanding of self, rather than a continuous desire for flawlessness.
Saying No and Reclaiming Control
Learning to say no is crucial for individuals dealing with perfectionism, yet it often feels challenging and uncomfortable. Schaffler highlights that saying no is not just about refusing requests, but rather affirming one's own needs and values. This decision, while possibly disappointing to others, is necessary for personal well-being and empowerment. Moreover, she notes that control is often an illusion; real power lies in understanding one's self-worth and the ability to prioritize activities that foster genuine connection and meaning, rather than succumbing to external pressures or obligations.
What if everything we’ve been taught about perfectionism is wrong? What if instead of fixing it or overcoming it, you could learn to wield it as a superpower? This week we’re bringing back an insightful episode on the unsung advantages of perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler, a distinguished psychotherapist and author ofThe Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control. Katherine sheds light on how adaptive perfectionism can offer surprisingly valuable benefits, such as deep self-awareness. Katherine sits down with Jessi to share actionable strategies to transform perfectionistic tendencies into pathways for growth, resilience, and self-compassion. Whether you’re dealing with your own perfectionistic behavior or seeking to understand it in others, this conversation provides essential tools and perspectives for navigating the quest for perfection. Tune in to gain practical insights from Katherine Morgan Schafler on leveraging perfectionism for positive change.
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