From Pleaser to Power: Shifting Dynamics in Relationships with Natalie Lue
Nov 30, 2023
auto_awesome
Natalie Lue, Relationship Expert, discusses the impact of people-pleasing on relationships and self-esteem. They explore the motives behind people-pleasing behaviors and unveil its hidden agenda. The importance of setting boundaries, saying no, and differentiating between desire and obligation is emphasized.
Overcoming people pleasing by setting healthy boundaries leads to greater authenticity and intimacy in relationships.
Recognizing the motivation behind our actions and differentiating between desires and obligations can help us overcome people pleasing and set healthier boundaries.
Deep dives
Discovering the Power of Boundaries and Overcoming People Pleasing
In this episode, Natalie Liu, an expert in relationships and self-esteem, discusses the importance of overcoming people pleasing and setting healthy boundaries. She shares her personal journey of transforming from a people pleaser to someone who values herself and her needs. One key insight she provides is the need to differentiate between desires and obligations. By recognizing when we are people pleasing and learning to say no to obligations, we can experience greater authenticity and intimacy in our relationships. Natalie emphasizes that setting boundaries is not about being perfect, but rather about recognizing when we are prioritizing others at the expense of our own well-being, and learning from our experiences to grow and evolve.
Understanding People Pleasing and Recognizing the Signs
Natalie discusses the varying levels of awareness people have about their people pleasing habits. She explains that people pleasing is a block to intimacy and can damage both relationships and self-esteem. By paying attention to our feelings and recognizing the motivation behind our actions, such as seeking approval or avoiding conflict, we can identify when we are people pleasing. Natalie highlights the importance of understanding that people pleasing is not a part of our personality, but a learned behavior that can be changed. By differentiating between desires and obligations, we can gain clarity and start setting healthier boundaries.
The Empowering Nature of Overcoming People Pleasing
Overcoming people pleasing leads to a greater sense of empowerment and fulfillment. Natalie shares that by being more honest with ourselves and setting boundaries, we can meet our needs, treat ourselves with love and respect, and grow into our authentic selves. Saying no and setting boundaries does not damage relationships but actually fosters intimacy. It allows us to be more emotionally available, authentic, and present in our interactions. Natalie emphasizes the importance of understanding that conflict and saying no are natural parts of relationships, and that true intimacy is built through honesty and openness.
Differentiating Between Desire and Obligation
Natalie introduces a simple technique for overcoming people pleasing by differentiating between desires and obligations. She suggests paying attention to how we feel and listening to our inner voice when making decisions. If our actions are driven by guilt, obligation, or resentment, they are likely rooted in people pleasing. By recognizing the difference between genuine desires and obligations, we can make choices that align with our true selves. Natalie encourages listeners to give themselves permission to say no and set boundaries, and to understand that by doing so, they are valuing themselves and fostering healthier relationships.
In this episode, Natalie Lue, Relationship Expert, Author, Speaker and Podcaster, discusses how to know your people pleasing, how empowering it can be to overcome it, and some strategies to overcome it.