The Gray Area with Sean Illing Breaking our family patterns
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Mar 2, 2023 Vienna Pharaon, a marriage and family therapist and author of "The Origins of You," delves into how our upbringing shapes our relationships. She discusses identifying 'origin wounds' and the profound impact of childhood experiences on adult behavior. Vienna shares insights on balancing self-love versus self-indulgence, the cost of authenticity, and the effects of parenthood on partnership dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the power of self-compassion in healing and breaking family patterns, providing practical wisdom for healthier connections.
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Pain's Role in Relationships
- Unresolved childhood pain often manifests in adult relationships, seeking attention through recurring conflicts and patterns.
- Relationships become the stage where these unresolved issues play out repeatedly.
Identifying Unmet Needs
- To understand relationship problems, ask yourself: "What did you want as a child and not get?"
- This question helps identify unmet needs that might be driving current relationship patterns.
Vienna's Childhood
- Vienna Pharaon's parents underwent a difficult nine-year divorce, marked by conflict and psychological abuse.
- As an only child, she felt pressure to suppress her own emotions, leading to boundary issues in adult relationships.
