Renowned mediator William Ury discusses conflict resolution, curiosity, and the power of listening. Topics include shifting perspectives, reaching 'second order agreement,' and creating a 'golden bridge' to connect across divides. Learn about universal needs, the importance of reconciliation, and the transformative potential of conflict.
Healthy relationships embrace differences with safety and skillful needs honoring.
Empathetic listening and curiosity aid in diffusing tension and building bridges.
Building 'golden bridges' by focusing on core needs leads to transformative conflict resolutions.
Deep dives
Power of Possibilities in Conflict Transformation
Believing in the power of possibilities, William Yuri emphasizes that conflicts can be transformed through collaborative problem-solving. He shares experiences from global conflicts such as racial apartheid in South Africa and sectarian strife in Northern Ireland where seemingly impossible situations were successfully resolved. By adopting a 'possibleist' mindset, one can approach conflicts not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for transformation and growth.
The Importance of Empathetic Listening and Curiosity
William Yuri underscores the significance of empathetic listening and curiosity in conflict resolution. He advocates for meeting animosity with curiosity by pausing, reflecting, and engaging in open conversations. Through active listening and seeking to understand the other party's perspective, individuals can foster respect, promote dialogue, and generate new possibilities for resolution, emphasizing the role of curiosity in diffusing tension and building bridges between conflicting parties.
Building Golden Bridges of Understanding
William Yuri introduces the concept of 'building golden bridges' as a strategy to overcome conflicts. By transcending positional stances and delving into underlying interests and needs, individuals can create pathways for mutual understanding and resolution. Through a heartfelt story of mediating a complex business dispute in Brazil, he illustrates how focusing on core desires like freedom and dignity can lead to transformative conflict resolutions, showcasing the power of building bridges in fostering peace and restoring relationships.
Humble Audacity and its Role in Conflict Resolution
Humble audacity, a core principle in conflict resolution, involves being both audacious and humble. By facing conflicts realistically and valuing humility, individuals can effectively navigate challenging situations. This approach encourages understanding the deeper needs of parties involved, moving beyond surface-level compromises. Through humble audacity, conflicts can be reframed to focus on universal needs like freedom, safety, and well-being, fostering transformative resolutions.
The Third Side in Conflict Resolution
The concept of the third side introduces a powerful approach to conflict resolution, showcasing the role of community involvement in transforming disputes. Drawing from indigenous practices, where conflicts are seen as involving more than just two parties, the third side emphasizes the larger community's role in reconciliation. By engaging all stakeholders and addressing underlying issues, conflicts can be resolved sustainably, promoting peace, dignity, and understanding among individuals.
A healthy relationship—whether that's between two people or two nations—is not one in which everyone agrees; it's one where it's safe for differences, and we have the skills to honor all of our needs. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with renowned mediator and bestselling author, William Ury, about his new book, Possible and the insights he has gleaned through more than four decades of conflict-resolution across the globe.
If you only listen to one podcast this year, may it be this one! Tami and William discuss: Meeting animosity with curiosity; shifting perspective and the metaphor of the balcony; self-observation; how more silence leads to more cooperation; the 3A trap: avoid, accommodate, or attack; the link between creativity and conflict; why negotiation is more about listening than speaking; reaching "second order agreement"; creating a "golden bridge" across our divides; universal needs and the question, what do you really want?; humble audacity; the notion of bringing in the third side; the importance of reconciliation; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
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